RAMBLINGS OF THE UNMARRIED | Both sorry

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BY GORDON Q. GUILLERGAN
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Sunday, April 2, 2017
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“I have made mistakes but I have never made the mistake of claiming that I have never made one.– James Gordon – Bennett

SOMETIMES the sad part about ending relationships is when we finger-point who did wrong and who did what. We all want to play the victim in every breakup but there could be a strong possibility that both were wrong.

In the 2015 case of Valerio E. Kalaw vs Ma. Elena Fernandez (G.R. No. 166357, Jan. 14, 2015), the Supreme Court held the possibility of both spouses being psychologically incapacitated in marriage.

As elucidated by Atty. Fred Pamaos in “The Philippine e-Legal Forum”, in the Kalaw case, the husband claims that the wife is psychologically incapacitated.

The wife denies her psychological incapacity and claims that the husband is the one psychologically incapacitated.

Both spouses presented expert witnesses to support each other’s allegation.

In the original Kalaw case, the Court focused solely on the psychological incapacity of the wife, concluding that there was insufficient evidence; the Court did not discuss the incapacity of the husband. This appears to be consistent with the first guideline in Molina — the “burden of proof to show the nullity of the marriage belongs to the plaintiff” –  the one who petitioned for the nullity of the marriage.

In the reconsidered Kalaw case, the Court declared BOTH spouses as psychologically incapacitated. While it can be argued that this is a deviation, or “relaxation,” of the rule that was followed in the original Kalaw case, there is no basis for such argument.

As a rule, the burden of proving the existence of psychological incapacity is with the petitioner. This is based on the basic rule that he who alleges must prove the allegation. This basic rule, stated in another manner, simply means that the person who alleges psychological incapacity must prove such psychological incapacity.

The Court then noted that it doesn’t matter who raised the allegation of psychological incapacity. In the words of the Supreme Court in the reconsidered decision:

“The courts are justified in declaring a marriage null and void under Article 36 of the Family Code regardless of whether it is the petitioner or the respondent who imputes the psychological incapacity to the other as long as the imputation is fully substantiated with proof. Indeed, psychological incapacity may exist in one party alone or in both of them, and if psychological incapacity of either or both is established, the marriage has to be deemed null and void.”

As far as remarriage is concerned, it doesn’t really matter who between the spouses is psychologically incapacitated — there is absolutely no prohibition for the psychologically incapacitated spouse to marry again.

Personally, my take on this based on personal experience is that when relationships end, that would be the perfect time to self-check. Sometimes we say or do things out of great anger and firm belief that we are not at fault. But when we take a closer look, we will find that perhaps we, too, had our share of the fault and it does not make you any less a person to admit your mistake and ask forgiveness.

When forgiveness is futile, however, it’s time to move on.

I am always anchored on the idea that when you love someone you never stop to care and love just because you are mad. And the door swings both ways. You should be given the same privilege. If not, may be you were not really loved. (gordon.qg@hotmail.com/PN)

 

 

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