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[av_heading heading=’RAMBLINGS OF THE UNMARRIED | Parenting’ tag=’h3′ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ size=” subheading_active=’subheading_below’ subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=”]
BY GORDON Q. GUILLERGAN
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Thursday, April 20, 2017
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“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” ― Anne Frank
OUR LAWS always primordially grant the mother custody over a child in instances when the father and mother have severed their marital bonds.
The general rule is that a child under seven years of age shall not be separated from his mother, based on the basic need of a child for his mother’s loving care.
Article 213 of the Family Code provides that “[n]o child under seven years of age shall be separated from the mother, unless the court finds compelling reasons to order otherwise.”
This is more pronounced in case of illegitimate children, as the law expressly provides that illegitimate children shall be under the parental authority of their mother. But when a mother is declared unfit, the custody over the said child shall be granted to the father.
In American jurisprudence, Nicholas Baker of the Family Law Rights noted in an article that gone were the days where mom always wins custody of the kids. Courts are now (finally) beginning to turn the corner and realize that a good parent does not always need to be a woman. With most of the workforce now being comprised of both men and women, it is no longer the case that a stay-at-home mom is needed to properly rear a child, and the courts have come out of the dark ages and realized this too.
Fathers have the same right to physical custody of their children as mothers do, and the case needs to be made to the court properly to show that such custody is in the “best interest of the child.” This is the main threshold that most states require to award physical custody of a child to a parent. This means having a stable, clean home/environment.
In the Philippines, a mother may be deprived of the custody of her child who is below seven years of age for “compelling reasons.” Instances of unsuitability are neglect, abandonment, unemployment and immorality, habitual drunkenness, drug addiction, maltreatment of the child, insanity, and affliction with a communicable illness.
Negligence and careless failure to perform the duties of parenthood is a significant element of abandonment, regardless of actual intention.
A strong basis for a finding of the parent’s abandonment of his or her child is found in the case where the parent has left the child permanently or indefinitely in the care of others, given it to another, or surrendered it entirely.
But what if both parents are unfit to rear the child?
Our laws protect the welfare of the child through the instrumental efforts of the Department of Social Welfare and Development – a government instrumentality which shall have the custody of the child until such time either or both parents have undergone proper parental counseling.
Sometimes, we often question one’s capacity to be a mother or father to a child. This is quite unfair as it is a 24/7 job which has no vacation leaves or day offs. My young self always found certain rules my parents imposed to be quite unfair. But I later realized how difficult it must have been to raise me.
It is difficult to be a father or mother, which is why the need for us to make the young generation understand this is necessary. Sometimes, parents make bad choices for the family or have bad parenting skills but no one should dare doubt that those were made with good intentions.
Maybe some were raised in a chaotic family, others in a happy one, but remember: each one’s future is not determined by their family. We always have a choice to be just like our parents or do better. (gordon.qg@hotmail.com/PN)
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