[av_one_full first min_height=” vertical_alignment=” space=” custom_margin=” margin=’0px’ padding=’0px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ background_color=” src=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=”]
[av_heading heading=’MY LIFE AS ART | Sex with strangers: HIV testing, Part 1′ tag=’h3′ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ size=” subheading_active=’subheading_below’ subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=”]
BY PETER SOLIS NERY
[/av_heading]
[av_textblock size=” font_color=” color=”]
Monday, May 22, 2017
[/av_textblock]
[av_textblock size=” font_color=” color=”]
THIS IS how I become an HIV testing advocate: First, I became a widower. And then, I became a slut… of sorts.
Well, actually, it was just a sex binge on my part. A phase.
A month after my husband died, I had sex with seven different people in one month.
I know it is crazy. But I was angry. My husband didn’t leave me the money he said he would. I wanted to punish him.
I know it is crazy. But I was angry. Don’t judge me. I’ve already judged myself.
My husband was a very jealoused type of guy when he was alive. And I was very faithful to him. He had no right to disappoint me the way that he did when he died.
So, to punish him, I punished myself. By having great sex!
I even bought myself a night with a pornstar!
Then, I planned a trip to the Philippines. To Iloilo, where the beautiful people are.
My late husband always said, when a good gay man dies, he is sent to the Philippines, where the men and the boys are beautiful.
And Iloilo is heaven.
***
When news of my planned homecoming went viral (yes, I am on Facebook!), a concerned friend from the medical field warned me to take it easy with “the pretty boys of Iloilo.”
Especially students from a certain marine academy.
And the young professionals. Especially the 30 to 40-something gay professors of many colleges and universities in Western Visayas. But especially in Iloilo!
He reported that HIV and AIDS cases were on the rise in Western Visayas. But especially in Iloilo City!
I told him, I don’t really fancy city mice and sewer rats.
I could not really say, I don’t like Filipino boys, period.
Because while that is half the truth, what if, for some reason in the future, I hook up with a Filipino boy?
***
Serious note: Boys, for me, mean 18 and above.
I may buy a 15- or 16-year old boy a kiddie meal. Maybe take him to the movies. But I’m not having sex with barely legals!
I have no sexual interest in pubescent boys. Or girls, for that matter.
But you always see me associating with this crowd because, well, I am a teacher…of sorts.
I give creative writing and theatre and filmmaking workshops to these school kids, and they are attracted to me like moths to a very talented and witty and flamboyant flame.
These kids love my ideas on love, art, and living. And I like sharing my thoughts with them. I like influencing people that way.
So, yeah. They kiss me, and hug me. And I kiss and hug them back, in the most parental, even priestly, manner.
Okay, okay! Sometimes, I kiss them and hug them as friends. Geez!
***
My type of boys, while we are still on the subject, are 21 to 25 years old.
Old enough to drink alcohol with me, and probably experienced enough to know there are other positions more than the doggie.
Worst case scenario, they just have to be willing to try something different without having to ask parental consent.
I also tend to go with flexible people. Boys who can pitch, and catch. And boys who can go the distance. 70 miles per hour would be good, but 69 is okay.
***
But I would take a man, any one older, anytime. Someone with a driver’s license, and a nice car, while we are at it.
Someone who can buy me dinner, and afford a fancy hotel room.
Does that make me a prostitute? Maybe. But I know I’m worth it.
I like fancy hotel rooms. Or even cheap lodges and motels decorated for fun and fetishes.
I wish we have theme rooms in Iloilo City.
I once had a three-way in a James Bond room. Was it Anito Hotel, or Victoria Court, maybe even Sogo, in Kaloocan? It was fun. It felt like Octopussy.
At another time, I was with a boy and a girl, both movie stars, in a motel penthouse in Pasig. So, yeah, I have quite a history of threesomes!
And at yet another time, I was in a fancy pink Anito room in Malate with an FHM covergirl. If you need to figure out who she is, here’s a clue: We were in a movie together!
***
Back to my friend’s warning. He said I shouldn’t be too relaxed with country mice either.
He gave me a number (Was it 15?) for recorded HIV infections from Dumangas. And the number of AIDS cases is five. And this was back in May of 2015!
The whole picture scared me. Made me angry. Turned me into an activist.
In June, I prayed hard. Listened to God for guidance.
I’ve been promiscuous after my husband’s death. And though I always try to be safe with condoms and all, how safe can sex with strangers really be?
I got tested, and when it came back negative. I was relieved, and encouraged to do something about the HIV and AIDS problem in Region 6.
In July 2015, I volunteered myself to be the posterboy, the official face, of HIV testing in Western Visayas.
Then, I started my media campaign. Newspaper articles (mostly through my columns). Radio guestings in Iloilo. And, of course, online, through my social media platforms: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.
***
In a nutshell, my campaign is this: I don’t care if you are promiscuous, or not. I don’t care if you are HIV positive, or negative. I just want you to be tested regularly and routinely. I just want you to know your status.
Because once you know your HIV status, you can better protect yourself.
If you are negative, you’ll take measures to stay negative. Maybe avoid risky behaviors.
If you are positive, you can seek help and get treatments to prevent full-blown AIDS.
And positive or negative for HIV, I want you to prevent the spread of the disease.
If you are negative, I want you to demand HIV status disclosure from your partner/s before consenting to sex.
You can still have sex with an HIV positive person, if you really want it; you just have to know how to better protect yourself.
If you are positive, I want you to protect yourself more. Because you can be infected with another more powerful, more deadly, strain of the virus. Why compound your infection?
***
Ready for the AIDS cure? Read the conclusion of this two-part HIV testing series next Monday, May 29. Thanks! (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
[/av_textblock]
[/av_one_full]
