How empathy helped underprivileged Cadiz City students attend their prom

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by Stephen Olino Calixton
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Saturday, March 3, 2018
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I always know that empathy can bring out the kindness in people. While some are losing faith in humanity, I continue to believe that there are more compassionate people than the opposite. There are folks out there who are ready to help despite not personally knowing the person in need.

I have read about works of empathy and selflessness in books, magazines, and social media; and even witnessed them in real life: There was this group of former students of mine in the senior high school where I formerly taught who went out to the streets after their Christmas party and gave what was left of their food to beggars and street dwellers; a teacher who provided his student allowance to survive the week and continue going to school.

I always get moved every time I’ve come across about these acts. They give me hope about the future of this distorted world, knowing that these deeds are capable of reviving the goodness in humanity.

Just recently, I was lucky enough to witness another act of kindness; and I felt so happy, knowing that I was also part of it.

On the Feb. 9, I posted a Facebook status knocking on everyone’s big heart to help my students at Caduha-an National High School (CNHS) – Tagbanon Extension High School in Cadiz City, Negros Occidental. I was asking people to help underprivileged students attend their promenade by lending a cocktail dress, a coat, or a long-sleeved polo.

I know that the prom is one of the most momentous events in my students’ junior high school life and the idea that they aren’t going just because they have nothing good to wear is beyond saddening. Just like my students, I, too, was dying to go to the prom and wear that suit and tie during the magical night way back in high school; so believing that there are “Good Samaritans” in Facebook, I posted about this concern.

Minutes after posting, I received a lot of personal messages from friends, acquaintances, and even from a strangers living  just six towns away from Cadiz City. More than my fingers could count commented on my post. They were informing me that they have something to either lend or give. Some had nothing to lend, so they just shared my post instead just so they could help.

A stranger told me that she is very willing to help as she too has gone through the same predicament before. For the same reason, a close friend who is also a teacher committed to renting again the coat he used during his students’ prom, so he could somehow help realize this moment to even one of my students. Another good friend – also a teacher – wanted to help by doing the makeup of some of the prom-goers. All the three of them consider themselves to be blessed at the moment, that’s why they are happy to share. They are all indeed an embodiment of Dolly Parton’s quote, “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.”

These instances in life clearly manifest how our experiences can bring out the best in us and how empathy can give birth to human benevolence. Our experiences not only shape the kind of people that we are today, but on a more important note, it gives us a light on what others in a certain situation would feel, think, and need. As we, too, have been in the same situation before, we know how to react and if we feel that our fellows need help, we tend to offer a hand.

I’d also like to think that it was my empathy that kicked in when I posted that status on Facebook. Majority of my students are children of sugarcane farm workers who earn a meager income and this is something I could relate to as my parents were also working in a sugarcane farm before. I knew too well that in a laborer’s home, every hundred is gold and buying kilos of rice always comes first on the long list of family needs, and renting a fancy dress or a tuxedo just for a prom night is nothing but a stupid choice of wasting hard-earned money.

Aside from the prom getups, my students also had to worry about the contribution, makeup, and shoes. The contribution they needed to pay could already put food on the table for a whole family for a day. Makeup is never cheap. And shoes? Well, most of them don’t own a pair as they just go to school with slippers on.

Thus, when others provide them a thing or two of what they need for the prom, their worries were reduced; and as their teacher, I am nothing but extra joyful that some of my students went to prom because of the acts of kindness by other people they barely know.

This is another work of empathy: It alleviates other people’s burdens. So when people are inculcated this virtue early in life, there is no denying that we will live in a better, happier place. People won’t steal, spread fake news, and kill just to fulfill an agendum but will become busy helping one another.

Certainly, putting oneself in another’s shoe allows people to feel, give, and love. When prayers can move mountains (and someone, volcanoes), empathy can bring out human kindness and send students to prom.

To everyone who – in one way or another – helped my students attend their prom, my most immense thanks. Continue helping the others and sending more students to proms and one by one let us make this world a better place! God bless!/PN
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