(This is the fourth installment of the seven-part series on “A Day in the Life of Peter Solis Nery”. Previously, the great PSN woke up with a big woody for life, explained why he continues to write for the reliable Panay News, and meditated on cooking in the nude.)
ICE CREAM FOR A MILLIONAIRE
You finally finish your coffee.
Coffee has a laxative effect on you.
You are going to the bathroom now.
You are going to do your morning toilet, shower, and be off to the bank.
Will they really let you transfer four million pesos to a Philippine account in just one transaction?
*
You haven’t done this before.
Transferring such big amount of money.
See what money you can save if you don’t turn the air conditioning on even in the middle of summer?
If you go naked, and don’t do laundry for weeks?
If you stick to instant coffee? No creamer.
If you cook in bulk, and recycle it?
If you cook ingeniously?
*
Sure, it’s not a lifestyle for everybody.
Really?
And why not?
You retired yourself from Nursing at 45.
You are doing okay.
You got no pension.
You are not dependent on others.
You haven’t won the lotto.
But you are doing okay.
*
You are a simple guy with simple needs.
You do three meaningful things everyday.
They may not be as great as discovering Plutonium, or reinventing the Ponzi scheme.
But you have a healthy mindset that you are doing something good in the world.
You may be delusional in this sense.
Ah, but a beautiful delusion.
*
If you are delusional this way, at least, you are not hurting anyone.
And that’s a source of pride for you.
That you hurt no one.
You are happy because you have that thought not hurting anyone.
It’s really a simplistic thought.
But you live a very simple life.
You don’t complicate things.
That’s why you are happy.
Stay that way!
*
It turns out, the bank has no problem with you wiring over $85,000 to a bank account in the Philippines.
They didn’t even ask another question other than the swift code of the Philippine bank.
The banker who served you was happy that you are finally doing something with your money.
About a year ago, she expressed concern that your money is just sitting in the bank.
And the interest rate for your deposit is not even that high.
*
You feel good about yourself after the money transfer.
You decided to go straight to the grocery store.
You picked up what you listed in your grocery list: soy sauce, granulated garlic, crushed red pepper.
You wanted ice cream, so you went to the dairy aisle.
Your favorite brand is Turkey Hill; favorite flavor: Black Cherry.
*
But you are a single guy.
You are entitled to sampling what the world has to offer.
It’s not like ice cream choice demands a monogamy.
So, in addition to your Black Cherry, you indulge yourself with five other flavors: a new flavor Trio’politan Triple Chocolate, the seasonal favorite Deep Dark Chocolate, the Stuff’d Denali Original Moose Tracks, the Pistachio-Almond, and for fun, the Party Cake flavor.
You are thinking, you if are going to entertain a cute pizza delivery guy soon, you might as well have the full ice cream bar!
*
On the way to the checkout counter, you picked up salmon fillets because you like them and they are convenient.
Your favorite full breakfast combo, if you are up for it, is pan-fried salmon fillet, two sunnyside up eggs, and two pieces of bread, or one-fourth cup rice.
You also picked up a 10-pound chicken wings bag. Because who says No to chicken wings?
And you got another bag of mussel meats. Because how you made adobo of them the last time was a hit.
You want to do it again.
*
You noticed Oreo cookies on sale.
Not really big sale on sale.
But $1.11 discount per bag is not bad.
Or so you thought.
You picked up four flavors. Just because.
Maybe you were thinking in the full ice cream bar logic.
You got Oreo Mega Stuff, 180 calories per 2 cookies.
Lemon Creme Oreo, 150 calories per 2 cookies.
And you wanted to try the Cherry Cola Oreo. You haven’t had this flavor before.
*
And just to spice things up, you picked up something green—Mint Creme Oreo.
At the cash register, you realized you just paid $11.52 for freaking Oreos.
That’s about P575.00 of damn cookies!
And then, thinking about the poor children of the world, you said to yourself, “Don’t worry, kids. I will eat these Oreos for you! I will make sure not a crumb is wasted.” (To be continued)/PN
