Casa Dom Pedro

I ARRIVED in Manila from Los Angeles just before midnight of Aug. 2.

I flew from Manila to Iloilo in the early morning, and before 6 a.m. of Aug. 3 I was already in Iloilo City.

By 10 a.m. I was signing a multimillion contract for the construction of my building in Dumangas.

The monster is going to be called Casa Dom Pedro (pronounce it Portuguese).

*

Casa Dom Pedro is my birthday gift to my 50-year-old self.

I will turn 50 in January next year.

Good weather permitting, the building will probably be ready by February or March. April, at the most.

Of course, I wanted it sooner. Like January.

So my wise architects and engineers informed me that construction — cement, specifically, follows some curing process.

Apparently, you cannot rush greatness.

*

My architects and contractors are college classmates Lauro Deypalubos and Boniface Umadhay.

After some years in the Middle East, they’re back in the Philippines ready to rock the landscape.

And probably cash in on the many development and infrastructure projects in booming Iloilo.

I know Lauro from childhood.

He’s also from Dumangas.

I think he knows enough about how crazy I can be to be able to indulge me.

*

In the beginning, I was thinking of a blue and white building.

With lots of curves and big curlicues.

And stucco-like finish.

Something like Santorini in the middle of the farm in Dumangas.

Well, it’s not really a farm. But it’s still a good two kilometers from the sea.

In fact, my property is in a subdivision by the highway.

But my mind can go crazy and wild.

*

And then, I saw the current state of the subdivision.

My building would stick out like a sore thumb, if I push for my ideal design.

Which is, of course, my objective.

I mean, if I’m going to finance a building, I would make sure it stands out like a sore thumb.

But believe it or not, I’m a pretty reasonable man.

So when the architects told me that modern Swiss minimalist designs would attract more clientele, and make the place more marketable, I conceded.

*

Casa Dom Pedro is not just a vanity building.

I meant it to be an apartment.

In fact, a suite of bachelors’ studios.

I’m not sure yet that I really want it like an apartment “apartment”.

I may decide to run it as an apartelle, who knows?

Right now, I just want the building done.

But bottom line, I also want it to be income generating for me.

My lot in the subdivision is considered, and was sold to me, as “classified” commercial.

*

You can think of Casa Dom Pedro as my retirement plan.

I want to invest in a building that will generate me an income even if I just sit down, and wait for the monthly rent to come in.

But also, I really like the idea of having a hotel.

You know, a beautiful place where people can have a wonderful time living in an illusion of luxury.

I want people to spend intimate moments under my roof.

Damn! I want babies made in Casa Dom Pedro!

*

I know the name would invite attention.

I’ve already foreseen that people would call it Casahan ni Pedro.

And so, I’ve already made jokes about it.

I’m really an advance thinker, you know.

How about we legalize prostitution?

I’d stock the ground floor rooms with girls.

So the older gentlemen callers would not need to climb the stairs.

They can just come and go.

And they usually come and go very fast.

So, I will have a healthy, good traffic on the ground floor.

*

The second floor rooms can be stocked with boys.

Because second floor spells more privacy.

The dirty rich old men would be happy on the ground floor.

And the cougars—those powerful women of a certain age, they’re more suitable to climb the stairs.

I mean, which cougar would allow herself to be told she’s too old to climb the stairs?

She won’t. So she’ll prove she still got it by limbering up the stairs.

*

And which self-respecting gay man would not climb anything as simple as a flight of stairs to get to one of them sexy boys?

So yeah, three studios on the ground floor.

Three studios on the second floor.

And, of course, the Peter Solis Nery penthouse on the third floor which is decidedly going to be a living garden.

Grass and all.

Koi pond and everything.

A garden of Eden of sorts where clothing is optional.

*

Well, you know what? On second thought, I think my penthouse should be a “Nudity Required” zone.

I don’t want everybody to go up there.

I think I’d like it like a “Go Up At Your Own Risk” zone.

I mean, I want it to be more paradise than anything else.

And only San Pedro, or Dom Pedro, will have the key.

Which he can lend to friends who like to be discreet in an indiscreet kind of way.

*

I know you will laugh at my ideas.

That’s why I’m telling you all my crazy and wild thoughts.

But at the end of the day, or in six to eight months in this case, my Casa Dom Pedro will stand.

I will have six studio units in two floors, and a penthouse unit with a garden to boot.

And if you are like most of my critics and haters, you will turn green.

Vomit envy kind of green!

And I will just smile.

Because I am a happy guy. (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)