(This is the 3rd part of a suite of four on Peter Solis Nery’s Baby Project, wherein PSN contemplates on the possibility of becoming a father at age 50. Previously, PSN discussed his 40-year resistance to fatherhood, his fatherhood ideals, and his limits of sacrifice to have this baby.)
THE COCKY STUD
I do not want a wife.
If a man I like wants to be my ‘wife’, that’s another matter.
But I don’t want a wife to give me my child.
I just want a babymaker.
I want someone’s egg, and a uterus rental for 9 months.
I don’t mind giving the girl a night of pleasure.
Or a week, if that’s what she needs.
*
Of course, I’ve considered in vitro fertilization.
I’ve looked into third party reproduction.
But at $60,000 to $120,000, that’s prohibitive for me.
No, I’m not paying 6 million pesos for a baby I will feed and send to school, buy a car and iPhone, and take to hospital during emergencies!
Not happening.
Thank you.
*
Maybe I’m a real cheapskate.
But again, let’s put this in perspective.
I do not need the baby desperately!
How much am I willing to pay?
I’m still thinking with a Philippine mindframe so I’d say between P300,000-P500,000 all-in.
And perhaps a night (or a week) of frantic and/or tantric lovemaking from me.
Take it, or leave it.
*
No, I’m not going to be choosy with the surrogate mom.
Maybe just screen for inherited insanity.
But even that, maybe I can waive.
Especially if the girl/woman is hot.
She has to, at least, make me stiff in my pants.
Which should be easy because I am always stiff.
*
Let’s keep this short: The surrogate mom has to be beauty or brains, if not both.
I know how hard it is to be both beauty and brains, but girls/women can always try.
But take note, by December 31, 2018, just before I turn 50, I think I can lower my standard, and settle for just anyone healthy who is willing to carry my baby, and give up her maternal rights.
*
Well-meaning friends ask, What if the child turns out ugly?
Well, I say, The better for me to love him/her.
What if the child turns out to be mentally retarded?
Well, I say, The better for me to love him/her.
What if the child becomes sickly?
Well, I say, The better for me to love him/her.
*
This child is not to boost my ego.
This child is not for me to show off.
I do not need this child to be perfect.
I do not need this child to extend my greatness.
This child is for me to love.
To show the world, and other parents, how to love their children more.
And unconditionally.
*
If this child is going to be my showcase, it will be a showcase for my capacity to love.
To love perfectly what is possibly not perfect.
To love perfectly so that what is possibly imperfect can have a chance to grow into perfection.
So yeah, you can also see this as a social experiment.
*
I have no problem calling this baby project a social experiment.
In my heart, I know I want a child.
I just don’t want it desperately.
I also recognize that this want came in late in my middle age.
And during my own stupid midlife crisis.
But that doesn’t mean I cannot love the child genuinely when s/he happens.
*
Children love me.
My nephews and nieces adore me.
My godchildren worship me.
One of my godsons actually asked me to be godfather (ninong) to his firstborn.
He also asked me to be a sponsor (ninong) at his wedding.
I mean, what greater compliment is there for a godfather than that?
*
So, yeah. I know I will be a good father.
I just don’t want to pay much money to be a father.
My problem is, Those who wanted to have babies by me are all so grown and menopaused already.
Believe it or not, I was a hot stud in my 20s and 30s.
You can ask one of my best friends who knows many of my secrets.
In 2000, when I was a cocky 31-year old, a stalker offered to pay me P25,000 to get her pregnant.
And this was in the years where I got paid P500 per week.
*
This was the stalker who sent me roses during the anthrax scare in the US.
The same girl who would send native chicken tinola over to me at our home radio station in Dumangas where I was known as DJ Angel Love.
We thought this girl was a tomboy who fancied my non-macho air.
Of course, in those years, I was also known as the sex and love guru of West Visayan newspapers.
*
Of course, this girl/woman is now menopaused.
She’s also probably richer because her cacao business in Davao, or somewhere in Mindanao, is booming.
I don’t know why I’m bringing her up in this story.
I mean, she won’t work as my baby maker.
She didn’t want to give me a baby.
She wanted me to give her a baby! (To be continued)
