AN ELEMENTARY school teacher asked one of her pupils what is the profession of his father.
The student answered: “He’s the guitar player in a house of pompom!”
Shocked and disturbed, the teacher met the father and told him the answer of his son.
The father said, “Actually, I’m a lawyer, Ma’am. But how do you expect a seven-year-old to understand what I do for a living?”
***
Recently, we have been treated to samplings of the wondrous workings of our laws. The conviction of 89-year-old Imelda Marcos of plunder and the acquittal of Sen. Bong Revilla of plunder too.
In remembrance, Martial Law having been declared in 1972…the glory days were unabated, for the Marcoses…their cup of liquid assets runneth over…until the Hawaiian vacation in 1987.
They returned in triumph and got elected as senator, congressman/woman, governor; PTA President; until the 2018 conviction of the Matriarch by the Sandiganbayan. You see, the law maybe low and slow but it sometimes does the unexpected.
For lack of specifics, we can only surmise that the legal process took about 20 years or more.
Further, the law provides as part of due process an appeal to the Supreme Court.
There at the Last Court, with all the motions and dilatory preposterous pleadings, it will take another 20 years for resolution. By that time, Madame Imelda will be 119 years old and entitled to receive P100,000 upon reaching the age of 100 years. Ours, indeed, is a humane society.
***
In the case of Pare Bong, his co-accused Nipples…ah, Napoles and Chief of Staff were convicted of plunder. It appears that the money was sufficient but the senator was acquitted because the evidence against him was insufficient. I don’t understand…his chief of staff gave him less?
He was, however, ordered to return to the government jointly with co-accused the amount absconded…about P124 million. Legal lunatics…luminaries argue that since he is not criminally liable he cannot be held civilly liable. Another bill of legal services for sharp counsel, Atty. Stiletto Mendoza.
On the part of Sen. Juan Posong…er, Ponce Enrile, however, there is positive testimony that bags of money were delivered to the house of his chicks…Chief of Staff, for him…He was imprisoned for short but not for long. And a new concept on the grant of bail has been blazed by the SC…it granted bail on the ground of old age. The reason why his chicks…ay, Chief of Staff, remains in jail. She is not old enough.
So, to those of you who are old, you can use this ruling.
***
In the Judiciary, the mandatory retirement age is 70. Upon reaching 70 years of age, the judge is automatically tired…retired. You can now enjoy your pension earned by sitting on the bench and trying to look smart.
If you are a widower, remember, old age alone and by itself does not vitiate your will to re-marry. But please, think of the misery you will be vesting on the young thing. With the price of meat, por kilo will do.
***
A 90-year-old man was accused of raping a 16-year-old. His lawyer is a young and beautiful UP graduate. Upon being arraigned, the old man pleaded not guilty.
JUDGE: Counsel, what is your defense?
LADY LAWYER: No erection, Your Honor. My client, pull down your pants.
(Accused pulled down his pants and counsel pulled at his “finish”.) You see, Your Honor, no erection!
CLIENT: Hinay-hinay, Atorni. Basi mapyerde ta! (Accused has slight erection.)
JUDGE: Counsel, your evidence still stands. (muzones_law_office@yahoo.com/PN)
