SAY WHAT you will about me. But I feel so happy and proud that I was able to entertain and make a lot of people laugh online via my Facebook posts.
The stupid among you may call my antics as “conduct unbecoming” of a great writer.
Well, I stick my finger up yours!
Because when this terrible year is over, I will ask you, “What have you done to reduce the misery of the world?”
Meanwhile, laugh —
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New qualifications for my next jowa: 1. Singer at marunong maggitara, 2. Masarap humalik, 3. Tamad mag-aral, but 4. Computer skilled. (785 laughs, 31 shares, 133 comments)
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Alternatibong qualifications for jowa: 1. Masarap magmasahe, 2. Mas masarap humalik, 3. Maganang kumain, 4. Malambing. (268 laughs, 7 shares, 56 comments)
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Conditions sa jojowain: 1. Relocation sa Iloilo, and can also travel (a plus), 2. Loves art/literature, 3. Guapo kapag nabihisan, 4. Matamis ang dila. (429 laughs, 7 shares, 67 comments)
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Bakit education plan ang gusto? Hello, bobo! Kabuhayan package na nga ang offer ko! ‘Di ba nila alam na unemployed ang marami? Pinas ito! (257 laughs, 6 shares, 34 comments)
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To all my FB friends & followers, thank you for keeping me socially engaged. My 2020 is so much better because of you. Love you all. (1.2K emojis, 2 shares, 114 comments)
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Hello, tanga! Sinabi ko ang qualifications ng jowa na gusto ko hindi dahil desperado ako, kundi para alam mo na hindi ka pasok! (553 laughs, 20 shares, 46 comments)
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Kung minsan, I wish na ako na lang ang mali para maging tama ka naman. Pero ang lakas talaga ng kabobohan mo. Sorry! (406 laughs, 24 shares, 26 comments)
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Can we just please begin with LOVE? Bukas na lang tayo mag-label. Kung ‘di ka na makatulog because of me. (168 emojis, 2 shares, 6 comments)
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Mga gago ba talaga kayo? Sinong may sabing we’re begging for Love? No, we aren’t! We’re begging for a boyfriend lang po, tanga! (474 laughs, 29 shares, 34 comments)
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“I’m not worth your tears.” — Gago, hindi talaga! Anong akala mo, Evita Peron ka ng Argentina? Dami kong tawa sa iyo, bobo! (175 laughs, 1 comment)
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So, OK, mahal na rin kita. But nothing is final naman, ‘di ba? Not until I know the taste of your tongue! (161 emojis, 4 shares, 15 reacts)
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So yeah, hindi ko aaksayahin ang oras ko sa panliligaw sa iyo kung ‘di rin lang swak ang laway mo sa panlasa ko. (205 laughs, 8 comments)
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Ayoko sa Platonic love with teenagers. Para sa matanda at losers lang ‘yan. Sino magtuturo ng romance sa kanila kung hindi ako? (87 laughs)
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Heart, kalma. Huminahon ka. Profile pic lang ‘yan. ‘Di mo pa alam kung naliligo o nagtutoothbrush talaga ‘yan. (673 laughs, 40 shares, 71 comments)
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Poteks! Display Pic pala ang ibig sabihin ng DP. Akala ko talaga, Double Penetration! Haist! (510 laughs, 10 shares, 38 comments)
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Pili: 1) Ang dami mong Ex pero reklamo nila, di ka marunong humalik; o 2) wala kang Ex dahil hanggang kiss lang silang lahat? (99 laughs, 5 comments)
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Pastilan! Sa kaka-Google ko ng DP, napunta ako sa Pornhub. “Display Pic” pala ‘yon. Amp! (495 laughs, 8 shares, 32 comments)
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Mabilis daw ako at wild sa relationships! Sorry, kaming may hitsura, we move fast. Notice mo? Kung dugyot ka, take it easy. (430 laughs, 24 shares, 28 comments)
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Sa mga iniwan ng jowa, hindi po talaga kayo iniwan. “Naiwanan” po kayo, kasi ang bagal ninyo. Mas mabilis po ang iba! (172 laughs, 6 shares, 13 comments)
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May kilala akong pakipot. Ayon, tuluyang nagsara. Kaya ngayon, kailangan magpaopera. Buwisit! (177 laughs, 3 shares, 8 comments)
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‘Yong crush ko, guapo ang DP. Makalaglag panty. Tapos nag-MyDay, kamay lang. Poteks, ang daming patay na kuko! (391 laughs, 5 shares, 45 comments)
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Paano mag-Move On: 1. Remember, may bad breath s’ya, 2. Hindi naliligo, 3. May patay na kuko, 4. ‘Di alam kung ano ang “DP.” (479 laughs, 17 shares, 47 comments)
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‘Yong isa ko pang crush, naligo nga, binalik-suot naman ang brief bago nag-selfie. Hello? Alam na ang gift ni Santa! (150 laughs, 11 comments)
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Gago Fashion: patong-patong na briefs, boxer briefs, basketball shorts, joggers, at maong pants. Baog ang itlog sa init, pawis at kapal. (150 laughs, 2 shares, 5 comments)
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Matikas. Ganda ng porma. Bagets, yummy! Pogi na sana. Tapos, ngumiti. — Lord, have mercy! Bungal pala ampotah!
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One day, nagising na lang akong mahal na kita. Pero the night before that, napanaginipan kita. Wala kang suot! (298 laughs, 7 shares, 26 comments)
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Happy New Year!/PN
