FOR WHAT good is a writer (I think you can say the same of the Bible) if s/he/it does not afflict the comfortable, and comfort the afflicted?
Komportable kayo sa pagiging smut writers? Yayanigin ko kayo!
Kampante kayong i-encourage ang smut writing among teenagers and minors? Isusumpa ko kayo!
In my life, I have comforted a lot of people. As a teacher, as a nurse, as a religious missionary, as a writer, as a suicide hotline operator, as a counselor for troubled and depressed youth, as a UNICEF project implementor, as a life coach, as a mentor, as a friend.
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I strike a happy balance in my life that’s why I’m happy, contented, successful, satisfied, and (compared to most Filipinos) rich. And I’m not shy to boast about these things, and my proven intelligence. ‘Wag n’yo po akong diktahan kung ano ang edukado. I exactly know how an educated person behaves. ‘Wag n’yo akong husgahan sa inyong Filipino double standards. You see, if I’m really a bad person, masama ang asal, walang good manners, I wouldn’t have achieved what I had. I wouldn’t have survived in Japan, Macau, Hong Kong, American West Coast, American East Coast, the UK, and Europe. (Yes, I lived in these places.) You see, I have seen the world, and I know that my morals, my standards, my intelligence are better than yours.
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Pero ito na lang: I wouldn’t have the great friends that I have if I am such a bad person. Real life friends, hindi fake and dummy accounts. Natatawa ako, pero since your vicious attacks on me, ang dami kong bagong friend requests. Pero freeze muna tayo sa pagku-confirm. I need to clean my friends list. Of course, inutusan ko na kayong i-unfriend ako. Now na! So far, nasa 4,910+ pa rin tayo from the 5,000 friends limit. Kahit pa I already unfriended 30+ deactivated accounts the other day to accommodate my workshop participants.
Oh, I think I can also brag about the many who sent me private messages of support. May tatlo na negative messages pero they don’t allow me to reply. Takot?
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Hindi po kayo kawalan sa buhay ko if you unfollow and unfriend me on Facebook. I do not need fans. I do not want to be your moral leader. So do not expect me to behave as your traditional teacher, as your congresswoman and senator, as your parish priest or pastor, as your parents, as your idol writer, as your grandmother. I will say things as I deem fit. I am only answerable to myself, and my God. And it looks like, hindi tayo pareho ng God so don’t ask me to behave the way your small god thinks. Nagmumurahan po kami ng Dios ko, and yet, we know that we love each other so much. Kasi, kapwa mataas po ang aming reading comprehension. We read between the lines. We understand what’s a hyperbole. We both know what wishing bad people’s death means. So, ‘wag n’yong ikumpara ang malaki kong Dios sa dios-diosan ninyo na singliit ng smutty mind ninyo. Newsflash: Hindi po padala ng Dios ko ang COVID. Galing China po ang virus.
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Do you know why you liked me (past tense)? Or why you even read me?
Because I’m different. I got spunk, I got angas, I got wit and intelligence. At kahit ako’y happy, contented, successful, satisfied, and (compared to most Filipinos) rich, I am sensitive to your needs. May pakialam ako sa kabataang Filipino, may malasakit. I can just ignore you like other people and writers my age, but I have a heart to help and save the Filipino youth. Alam n’yo na mapagkalinga ako. Makatao, makaDios, palabiro, gago pero mapagmahal. Alam n’yong totoong tao ako. Nakakasabay sa kalokohan ninyo. Marupok, malandi, walang-hiya. Marami rin ang nasiyahan sa inyo sa mga posts ko na may words na gago, pokpok, ampotah, tanga, bobo. The emojis you gave since October/November 2020 don’t lie. The reposts and comments you made don’t lie. Nasa Facebook lahat ‘yan.
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Do you know why you don’t like me?
Because I’m different. I got spunk, I got angas, I got wit and intelligence. At higit sa lahat, hindi n’yo ako kayang ilagay sa kahon ninyo. Ayokong mailagay sa kahon ninyo! Sa concepto ninyo ng moral at di moral. Ng tama at di tama na asal ng professional na writer, teacher, educator, prophet. Ang liit ng definition ninyo ng God, and what God wants from you and me. You don’t know what’s right and wrong, at gusto n’yo akong sumunod sa idea ninyo ng right at wrong manners? Hindi po ako teacher ninyo na kaya ninyong masesante. Hindi rin ako ang idol ninyo na gagawin ang lahat para manatili kayo kahit pa konsentihin ang smut ninyo. (I don’t need fans! — Uulitin ko pa ba ito?) Kung ititiwalag ako ng simbahan, I’m okay na rin sa edad kong ito. And I don’t think I will take any employment in the Philippines or anywhere in the world anymore. I want to be my own boss. As I was in the last six years. (That rich, yeah!)
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So yeah, #ThePSN will not apologize for fucking your butt. You cannot hold me against your standards, especially na inamin ninyo na I got a point, na tama rin naman ako, and you agree: TEENAGE SMUT WRITING IS WRONG. Pinagtuunan ninyo ng pansin ang coarse words at pagwi-wish ko ng masama (death ba talaga?) sa masasamang tao, sa mga taong nag-i-encourage at ipinaglalaban ang smut writing among minors na para bang ito ang tama. But the most important message has been received. I’m happy with that. Worth ang lahat ng pagkukutya at pagbabatikos ninyo. I can die happy.
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In six months time, in one year’s time, in three years time, matututo rin kayo ng coarse words, matututo rin kayong mag-wish ng masama (derecho nang death, please) sa mga taong makakasakit sa inyo. Only, at that time, your words will be weaker kasi nasabi ko na at hindi na kayo original; and your ill-wishes will be weaker kasi baka wala nang COVID.
But until then, until we have a control over this pandemic and virus (viruses? plural ba dapat dahil nariyan na ang UK-strain?), please be careful. Mask, handwashing, physical distancing, Vitamin C, and I know sawa na kayo sa word na ito, pero prayer po talaga!
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For those who really think that it is my intention to wish good people any harm (aminado naman ako na gusto kong mamatay ang mga masasama including mga promotor at defenders ng teenage smut), this should be your prayer:
“PSN, PSN, mabuti ang smut at porn para sa mga bata,
PSN, PSN, hindi ako kailanman nagmura—‘tangena, gago ka,
PSN, PSN, hindi ako kailanman nagalit enough to wish na sana madapa ang gaga, o mabulunan ang gago,
PSN, PSN, isasanla ko ang kaluluwa ko sa demonyo, mamatay ka lang sana.”
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See? I can make things easier for you. I can articulate what you can’t. And that’s why I’m essential! That’s why I’m not saying I’m sorry./PN
