BY SHAY CULLEN
TO HAVE a harmonious intimate relationship, what is needed is unselfish service to other people. That sharing must go beyond the partner to the community. Otherwise, it is just self-serving and lacking integrity. For a couple to have a common goal of service to others is ideal.
There are many happy families that have this higher standard of intimate friendship where each partner recognizes the importance of the values and dedicates themselves to the ideal of living the values of faithfulness, honesty, trustworthiness, transparency, unselfish sacrifice and service to community and family.
However, relationships that are not built on such virtues and values but rather on selfish satisfaction of emotional and sexual desires and urges are likely to fail and collapse into breakup, conflict or violence. This violence is mostly perpetuated by men, former or present partners, or males outside of a relationship. For minor-girls, it is a male peer or a gang-mate or boyfriend that commits acts of sexual violence against her.
The statistics are shocking. Thirty percent of women and children, aged 15 and older in the world (that is one in every three girls and women) have suffered intimate partner violence by husband or non-partner violence at least once in their lives. Many have endured constant acts of violence. That is an estimated 736 million girls and women worldwide.
One in every three children have experienced sexual violence at least once in their lives. These acts have increased dramatically during the Covid lockdown. It has been established that a least 6 percent of women have reported they have suffered sexual violence by men other than their husbands or live-in partners. However, since there is a stigma attached to rape, most do not report or seek help from anybody. They endure and live with the pain and suffer trauma.
In the past 12 months 22 percent of women that live in poor countries or the “least developed” were victims of violence from partners. The world average for more developed countries is 13 percent. This is a huge disparity and poverty and lack of education play a significant role in violence against children and women.
Human trafficking is a form of violence against the person and most victims are women and girls making up 72 percent of all trafficked persons. Boys are trafficked also but out of every four children that are trafficked, three are girls and it is for sexual exploitation, the worst form of violence against children after incest.
To change the situation and to prevent more violent acts against women and children, it seems that promoting and teaching the virtues and values is one important remedy. Encouraging people to accept and choose to live these values can lead people to have a lasting loving, respectful and mutually supportive relationship that will never descend to violence.
UN Women have recommended RESPECT, each letter for one value: Relationship skills strengthening; Empowerment of women; Services ensured; Poverty reduced; Enabling environments (schools, work places, public spaces) created; Child and adolescent abuse prevented; and Transformed attitudes, beliefs and norms. (preda.org)/PN
