IT WAS just 3:30 in the afternoon when I arrived Southampton in Hampshire (in the south east of England) from a night in London.
But the sunset was 3:45pm or something so it was suddenly dark.
It was also a cold day so I didn’t walk around much.
***
I had pho (the Vietnamese noodles, yes), and spent about 1.5 hours in the restaurant.
I didn’t feel guilty because there weren’t many customers from 4:30 to 6 in the afternoon.
Needless to say, I was also on Grindr much of the time.
I like that there were many university boys on the grid (because Southampton or Solent University was nearby).
But it was largely the older crowd that was hitting on me.
***
If they offered me dinner and drinks, I would have agreed to meet them.
But I was already enjoying my pho.
The boys who would hit me up were very naughty.
They wanted me to do them in public: like alleys or the dark parts of the nearby park.
Oh, no! Not my game.
(At least for that night. Haha!)
***
I stayed mostly in the Cultural Center area, the Mayflower Village, because I had trouble booking the Mayflower show online.
The Mayflower Theatre is the biggest theatre in the South of England.
And even if I didn’t particularly like pantos (seen some, seen all), they’re a fine English tradition.
And I didn’t want to waste my first day/night in Southampton just because it was already dark when I arrived.
***
I wanted to be around and see if I could get rush tickets when the box office opens, which I figured to be an hour before showtime.
Long story short, I got in to the “Cinderella Panto,” which was amazing.
And magical.
And grand.
And I’m saying this having watched “The Prince of Egypt” in West End, London the night before.
***
Panto is a musical comedy production aimed for the family.
Very English. Very Christmas tradition.
I’ve seen some panto in Los Angeles, and I feel I should be fine if I don’t see them again.
But this one kind of blew me away.
***
Imagine Cinderella’s coach magically flying with horses overhead the audience in the first front seats.
It’s like Mary Poppins with her umbrella flying overhead the audience in the show “Mary Poppins.”
It’s like the helicopter scene in “Miss Saigon.”
Or Elphaba on her broomstick soaring high and defying gravity in “Wicked.”
Or the underground canals and boat scene in “The Phantom of the Opera.”
I’ve seen a lot of wows in the musicals, so I’m not easily impressed.
But for a panto, this was amazing and magical.
***
I will not call out anyone.
But I think that the stepmother was played by a drag queen.
With a name like Baroness De Monica Hardup, go figure.
Her makeup was drag, her fabulous costumes were drag, her voice was drag, her jokes were cabaret.
The jokes were so gay—
“Prince, I heard that your balls are getting bigger every year.”
***
Imagine the villainous stepmother singing Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now.”
And the adapted “I Will Survive.”
I couldn’t recall all the names of the pop tunes sang by all the characters, but they were so apt and mesmerizing while the actors were doing them.
And the dances were fabulous: high leaps, lifting, tap, modern, Broadway quality.
And the costumes were amazing: all the sequins you want, all the feathers, the tight tights on men with gorgeous buns.
***
Let me just say that this was the best panto I’ve seen in my life so far.
About 3/4 of the crowd were kids, and the remaining 1/4 were their parents.
The kids were having fun.
The adults were getting their dose of fun in the (very gay) puns.
And it made for a magical evening.
It was very hard to imagine anyone leaving the theatre unhappy.
And that, for me, means successful theatre.
***
In London, I really wanted to catch the new musical “Moulin Rogue!”
I’ve already memorized the lyrics to the songs including Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”, and Sia’s “Chandelier.”
But the earliest available booking for me was late January 2022.
There was “Magic Mike Live” but they were black for the day. (That means the theatre is closed.)
***
Also black was Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Cinderella.”
I guess, I could have splurged a bit and watched “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.”
But £208 (yes, three digits) for Harry is a lot of other shows.
I decided on a £23 ($30) “The Prince of Egypt” at the Dominion Theatre.
And also, just because my London host was watching the show for her birthday, I figured it is best that we come home together from the same theatre.
So yeah, “The Prince of Egypt” it was.
And I’ll talk about it next issue./PN
