BECAUSE I was the first sex columnist in the Ilonggo newspapers from way back year 2000 — Remember my columns “Sex in the City”, and “Vicious and Noxious” in the now-defunct The News Today?
And because my stories still come up when you Google “sex guru peter nery”, my British brother-in-law sells me as a sex guru to all his acquaintances.
And because my audience shows enthusiasm, I am obliged.
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I talk about sexual relationships mostly.
And in particular, sexual activities of married couples.
But if people want me to talk about women taking it up the assumption hall, I give it my expert (gay) advice.
I figured, this is always a healthy start in my more political #ThePSN PINK Ambassadorial Tour of Europe.
I mean, we can’t just jump into politics every time we have a dinner party, or a drinking get-together.
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Eye on the prize: You want these people to see how broad-minded you are.
If they respect your every opinion (and you make sure you cover the Bible, world history, sex etiquettes, generational gaps, gender psychology, pleasurable orgasms), it’d be easier for them to see your point of view even in Philippine politics.
A knowledgeable man is a knowledgeable man.
And ThePSN is an all-knowing god!
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Why exactly the assumption hall dilemma?
To butt, or not to butt—that is the question.
I mean, I have addressed the question in the US, but why the prevalence of the question here in the UK?
A-ha! Europe, and Europeans.
If your co-workers come from Spain, France, Portugal, Malta, Greece, Moldova, et cetera, and they talk about what they do with mortal and pestle, and the hollow underside of the pestle—in the bedroom, wouldn’t that stimulate your imagination?
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If the Greeks tell you they love taking it up the you-know, and the Italians report that their wives enjoy a little horseplay, wouldn’t you wonder about it?
But who better to ask than ThePSN—shameless, straightforward, funny, honest.
I mean, you definitely can’t ask the Pope for these kinds of questions.
And why ask a carpenter when a nurse can help you?
Why ask a butcher if a teacher can better explain it to you?
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Because I know Roman Catholicism (was a seminarian, remember?), my anatomy (nurse here!), and my learners’ psychology (teacher here!), it rests on me to explain about lubricants, men’s fantasies, and receiving angles and instrument curvatures.
And I make a full production of it.
I mean, an enthusiastic lecture or Q&A is a return of kindness for the meals and hospitality people offer me.
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Tell me what is so wrong about a wife taking it up the assumption hall from her husband?
If your husband does kinky sex with a prostitute, wouldn’t you rather experiment kinky sex with your husband and keep him faithful to you?
If you can’t have all the sex that you want from your husband, why did you even marry him in the first place?
Would you rather die a virgin (in the assumption hall) after seven children?
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If anal sex is so wrong in a married couple, why do 99% of the husbands that I talk to agree that it is in their Top 3 Male Sexual Fantasies?
And if it is so bad, why do some husbands try and take it up their assumption hall from other men?
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And speaking from my gay community, why do you think so many gay men prefer to bottom?
I’m a top.
But I like to take on the label “Versa Top” (versatile, but a good top), because hey, when the conditions demand it, I want to do flip-flops, too.
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Bottoming—that is, taking it up the assumption hall—is not my cup of tea.
(I like saying “cup of tea” because I’m in the UK.)
But been there, done that.
I’m not a virgin anymore.
(Although if you count my hemorrhoidectomy last year as a partial anal reconstruction, I AM DEFINITELY A VIRGIN. And I’m not giving my virginity away so soon! Haha.)
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So yeah, I have plenty to say about anal sex—both from science, and art/literature perspectives.
People have consulted me before, and have reported results, problems, and successes.
If you are over 40, I suggest you try it with your husband.
It can spice up your sexlife.
If you are married for over 15 years, it’s time to start family planning, and just enjoy sex for what it is.
No need to bring up another miserable child on the planet just because you refuse to try anal.
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And think much about this: If you really love your husband, sex should be more than just your selfish satisfaction.
Maybe, it is also about fulfilling your husband’s top three sexual fantasies.
You see, when you are in the UK, sometimes husbands buy you a Louis Vuitton bag for being a good sport!/PN
