BY EDISON MARTE SICAD
“There is no such thing as work-life balance. There are only work-life choices.”
I learned this statement or assertion from two well-known entrepreneurs. In a way, this life philosophy is mostly attributed to mavericks, contrarians, and people who live by their own rules.
What are rules anyway?
Do we follow others because we cannot trust our own choices?
How is obedience related to independence?
My first year of work-experience at the Ramon Q. Avanceña Hall of Justice, Iloilo City, reminded me of the book of Dr. Wayne Dyer entitled Pulling Your Own Strings.
Allow me to share these three sentences from his book:
1. “You are the one who decides whether you’ll be hurt, depressed, angry, worried, afraid, or guilty about anything or anyone in this world.”
I am not sure if this can be totally possible. A recent animated feature film, Inside Out 2, has shown that our emotions can get beyond our control. Our emotions can be “activated” by people and events.
But try to think back, of the varied emotional expressions you’ve had, would you have been better if you were control?
I am asking this question because we are also told that pent up emotions are not good for us: that we have to, as the cliché goes, express ourselves.
But there are those who would rather be stoic: that we must control our negative emotions and not validate them by any outward behavior; getting upset, worried, afraid, or depressed can also be addicting.
I believe that if we allow ourselves to be really in charge, we can use rules and regulations to our advantage.
2. “In dealing with your self-worth, remind yourself that by definition it must come from yourself.”
I encountered the term news fast from a book written by a psychologist. Obviously, the book was published decades ago. The advice or prescription was simple: if you want to feel a bit better, avoid the news for one week — if possible. News fast. There are doctors who would even recommend this to their patients.
Since news are mostly filled with tragedies and celebrities, activists and trivialities, trends and feel-good propaganda, the viewer’s senses are inundated with data with no chance for comprehension leading to mental indigestion. To eat is to digest for growth. In the same vein, there must be a connection between news consumption and self-improvement through daily actions.
We get sick not only by the food we eat; we also get sick by the things we see.
Unfortunately, it only got worse — especially to kids and young adults. A person’s identity can now be defined by social media activities and not by personal meaningful actions.
3. “If you have to have a guarantee that everything will be all right before you take a risk, you will never get off first base, because the future is promised to no one.”
Working in the Hall of Justice has taught me courage and perseverance.
I have learned how to cultivate personal and professional integrity in dealing with others. Some people taught me how to improve my skill in learning how to learn.
From the court hearings, by listening to lawyers and clients, I learned that problem-solving is a skill that can only be honed by facing — and solving — more and more difficult problems.
I have also learned that being intelligent is not the significant factor for success; it is diligence: having the will to learn and act to get what you want regardless of the complexity or simplicity of the task.
But life is unpredictable, and some people tend to be obnoxious. Personal weaknesses and problems tend to dominate our everyday affairs.
With the never-ending challenges life throw at us, is it still possible to operate from strength? (To be continued)/PN
