RAMBLINGS OF THE UNMARRIED

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BY GORDON Q. GUILLERGAN
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Justifying the means

THE END does not justify the means.
We are always quick to judge the situation of other people without walking a mile in their shoes. Sometimes it is a matter of understanding the situation of others.
A married woman once had an affair. When her husband found this out, they decide to go their separate ways.
Being separated-in-fact, they lived a life like that of single individuals. After three years, however, the guy met someone who was there for him during the time he fell out of love.
The wife learned of her husband’s desire to marry the new girl and decided to again “take ownership” of what used to be hers.
Take note: The absence of a valid judicial declaration of dissolution of marriage shall bar one from contracting marriage with another.
Therefore, any person having a relationship with a married person (albeit separated) shall be deemed a paramour or mistress. No provisions under our law justify this.
What is sad is how quick society brands these people (querido, querida, kabit, kulasisi, etc.) without ever knowing the reasons behind their situation. Our laws do not condone these kinds of relationships but we must look beyond the law and let our morals work.
The only thing that separates our laws from our morals is our justification of the wrong we do. We all have our reasons for doing certain things but it is not always right in the eyes of the law.
Personally, I often question why we even have laws when they sometimes tip the scale to make as unjust our desires. Simple and honest desires.
But we must understand, too, that we cannot always claim we are doing things for a good intent; our good intentions sometimes hurt other people.
We must live in such a way that conform to what is morally and legally right, not what are commonly perceived to be right even if these aren’t. Because at the end of the day, it is you who deals with the consequences. Not them./PN
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