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BY GORDON Q. GUILLERGAN
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Wednesday, January 25, 2017
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“In my experience, the biggest reason people struggle to get where they want to be is guilt. Guilt that they have let someone down, and also guilt that they are about to leave someone they love…behind.” ― BETHANY BROOKBANK, Write like no one is reading
IT IS A common trait by a few to turn tables around when caught in flagrante delicto (caught in the act). To save face, they admit their guilt and use this as the easiest way to escape liability.
This happens in marriages, especially when one party seeks the exit door and uses their infidelities or their lapses as their ticket out of the relationship.
Should a petition for legal separation be used by someone who committed sexual infidelity as ground to get out of a marriage?
It is interesting to note that among the grounds for legal separation, only “sexual infidelity or perversion” is not one that a person guilty of committing the same can invoke. This may give the impression that sexual infidelity of the one who filed the petition may be used as ground in legal separation.
We must consider, however, that legal separation is filed by the innocent spouse or the “aggrieved party” against the guilty spouse. This is provided by the Family Code and established by jurisprudence settled by our courts.
It has long been established as a rincile of law that he who has clean hands must seek redress from the court. It is quite incoherent for a person who committed a wrongdoing to seek for correction or redress for the wrong he committed. The law ensures that only those whose rights were curtailed could seek restoration or refuge.
In marriage, loyalty or fidelity is expected. If you are not happy with your marriage, have the decency to speak your mind and give your spouse the honesty he or she deserves.
On the other side of the coin, one’s infidelity is an evident manifestation that he or she is no longer happy in the marriage. And the filing of the petition for legal separation is a way of liberating both spouses.
But our law intends that the guilty spouse is given the opportunity for a free pass as to the wrong committed. Sometimes, we do wrong, we admit it and then we walk away. Giving us a free pass for the damage we leave behind.
Commonly, those who are left behind are the ones busy and achingly picking up the pieces, while the other has gone far ahead.
But those who is mourning now shall also experience joy in the morning. So if you are the piece-picker in a relationship, don’t fret. Your joy shall come and your kindness and patience will be greatly rewarded. Always think that no one who did wrong with someone will have a free pass in the eyes of God. Vengeance is His.
One of the hardest things to do is to wish well those who have done you wrong. But take heart and do so, for with it you shall find healing and one day you shall find yourself doing perfectly good or better, even great than when you were with him or her.
Happiness gotten quickly shall be temporal. True happiness is gained through rough times./PN
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