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Friday, February 17, 2017
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IF YOU believe that Cory Aquino should be canonized as a saint then that is probably the epitome of stupidity.
I suppose if you are one of those idiots who believe that she deserves to be a saint then most probably you must also believe that Kris Aquino was born out of “immaculate conception.”
Along that line you must also be a rabid follower of that nincompoop Noynoy Aquino and with all conviction of your heart you are of the firm belief that he is a political genius and during his presidency he made the Philippines surpass Singapore not only economically but in all aspects of greatness.
I’m pretty sure that your wardrobe consists mostly of yellow-colored shirts and you believe “hook, line and sinker” everything posted on Twitter and Facebook by the “has beens that never was” back-up singer Jim Paredes and television comedy supporting cast Cynthia Patag.
Good God! Man, what are you smoking must be really serious stuff; your hallucinations are way funkier than LSD. Timothy Leary must be rolling in his grave. Brother, you’re figment of imagination plus the stuff you’re smoking makes “Trainspotting” look like a Walt Disney film.
It is common knowledge among the natives of this archipelago that the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines or CBCP headed by Bishop Socrates Villegas are all jaundiced and wears yellow knickers under their skirts.
One priest, however, a certain Father Arevalo, took it to the limit and filed for a petition for the canonization of Cory Aquino to sainthood. Father, what are you smoking? Really heavy stuff, a clear case of too much heaven in their minds.
How does one become a saint anyway aside from being born out of “immaculate conception” or thrown into the River Jordan and anointed by John the Baptist?
During the Spanish colonization, whenever “Padre Damaso” felt horny he would ask for the fairest maiden in his parish be brought to his room in the convent and then he would tell her “Do not be afraid my child give, yourself and be filled with holy water.” Does that also qualify for sainthood? Even if that does not qualify for sainthood, at least we have a lot of Spanish mestizos and mestizas running around the islands, most of them joining beauty contests and showbiz; some even become journalist or columnist.
Can the Precinct Count Optical Scanners or PCOS machines make one a saint as it miraculously made that barefoot “Lady of Naga” Leni Robredo into the Vice President?
Fr. Arevalo should have made that petition during the presidency of that nincompoop Noynoy Aquino while they still have full control of the PCOS machines.
But really, how does one qualify for sainthood in the Catholic Church?
In an interview by ABS-CBN of Fr. Aris Sison, the parish priest of the Parish of the Hearts of Jesus and Mary in West Triangle, Quezon that incidentally is also the parish of Cory Aquino, he said that one of the basic qualifications for canonization to sainthood in the Catholic Church is that the candidate must have performed two documented miracles.
Having lived in Manila throughout the entire presidency of Cory Aquino, I have acknowledged and experienced at least three documented miracles attributable to her.
The first one was the infamous “Mendiola Massacre”. Upon orders by President Cory Aquino, her security forces fired upon demonstrators in Mendiola Street near Malacañang. These demonstrators were protesting the lack of government action on land reform, particularly on Hacienda Luisita owned by Cory’s family. The result of the violent dispersal was 13 farmers dead.
Cory Aquino was directly responsible for sending 13 souls to heaven (let’s give them the benefit of the doubt that they went to heaven). If that’s not a miracle I don’t know what is.
The second one was, during the term of Cory Aquino Metro Manila was experiencing eight hours of brownout daily because she scuttled the energy programs of President Marcos and mothballed the Bataan Nuclear Power Plant that would have given Metro Manila a much needed supply of electricity on the pretext that it sits on an earthquake fault. Now, 30 years after, the unused plant is already obsolete and no earthquake happened.
The miracle there is that every time the eight hours brownout began, millions of residents of Metro Manila cursed Cory Aquino to high heavens. It must be a miracle if you can have millions of souls simultaneously cursing you to high heavens.
And third, the economy of the country hit rock bottom, meaning the Philippines was way below recession as we had almost zero investments because she refused to pay our loans to the World Bank. The result of that stupid move was that the credit ratings of the Philippines went from bad to worse. To be able to accomplish that in your first year in office is definitely a miracle. So Cory Aquino for sainthood! “Excuse me while I kiss the sky.”/PN
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