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BY GORDON Q. GUILLERGAN
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Friday, February 24, 2017
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“It is so hard to leave — until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.” ― John Green, Paper Towns
“Wala Na Akong Pag-Ibig,” “Ginamit Lang Kita”, “Let’s Separate.” Then it ends. Just like that.
They say every ending is not actually an end but a beginning of something new. Sometimes we all wish it is as easy as that. You wake up one morning, you text or chat or email that you don’t want it anymore, you move on and that’s it.
But when lives have intertwined, how do you untangle the years, the time which will remain a part of your entire lifetime?
In marriage, there are those who would want to just get out and move on. But it is never that easy. You cannot simply send FYI and leave and again remarry.
Article 45 of the Family Code, as repeatedly noted in this column, provides the grounds for the annulment of marriage.
Marriage may be annulled for any of the following causes, existing at the time of the marriage:
1. Absence of Parental Consent
The lack of parental consent is a ground to annul a marriage, stated in sub-paragraph (1) of Article 45 of the Family Code. This ground is applicable only when either party is between the age of 18 and 21 at the time of marriage. While the lack of parental consent is a ground for annulment, the absence of parental advice is not.
2. Insanity
A marriage may be annulled if either party was of unsound mind. This ground may not be invoked, however, if the party of unsound mind, after coming to reason, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife.
3. Fraud
A marriage may be annulled if the consent of either party was obtained by fraud, unless such party afterwards, with full knowledge of the facts constituting the fraud, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife.
4. Force, Intimidation, Undue Influence
A marriage may be annulled if the consent of either party was obtained by force, intimidation or undue influence, unless the same having disappeared or ceased, such party thereafter freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife.
5. Impotence
A marriage may be annulled if either party was physically incapable of consummating the marriage with the other, and such incapacity continues and appears to be incurable.
6. Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)
Annulment when either party was afflicted with a sexually transmissible disease found to be serious and appears to be incurable.
As you can see, a mere agreement or spur-of-the-moment decision to end the marriage, if not falling within the aforementioned, may not validly sever marital ties.
In the words of Atty. Fred Pamaos, the law is always in favor of the validity of the marriage. A signed contract by the spouses that they agree to an annulment is against the law, moral and public policy. Therefore, it is not valid.
The mere notice to annul by one to the other stating in the context of “ayaw ko na” shall not suffice.
I don’t know how to end relationships, personally. Commonly I just wait for the time when it falls apart and the other person gives up on me. For as far as I can take it, I’ll stay where I was found – I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not but one thing is sure about me – when I wake up one morning and I no longer want to be there, I just leave without a word.
But that’s me. I don’t suggest it to anyone because, we all have our way of ending things. However, one must remember, when you leave, leave dignified. Even if you leave with only a very little piece of you, leave dignified – where you leave no grudge but kindness, no assurance that it will be painless but bearable.
No endings are sweet but it can be liberating to leave when you know from your gut that you gave it all and you did what you knew was right but it just doesn’t fit anymore./PN
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