LOVE COMES in many forms. There is the love of parents for their children, the love extended to the less fortunate, and the more familiar kind — romantic love between a woman and a man. But as times have evolved, so have the expressions of love. Today, we also witness love between people of the same gender, such as the love between two men or two women.
This shift in how love is understood has gained significant support in the Philippines, where the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Expression (SOGIE) Equality Bill is being pushed to eliminate discrimination based on one’s sexual orientation and gender identity. This Valentine’s Day, let us be inspired by the story of two women who, despite facing numerous challenges, have triumphed in the battle for their love and now live a life of happiness.
Meet Eillen Grace “Grei” Montalbo, 39, and Mae Ann “Jhing” Elipio, 46, a couple from Molo, Iloilo City who have been partners for 13 years. Their love story began back in 2011.
A Simple “Good Morning” That Led to Something Beautiful
The story of Grei and Jhing’s love began in 2011 when Jhing casually greeted Grei with a “Good morning.” At the time, Grei was working as a teacher in a school in Iloilo City, while Jhing was bringing her niece to the same school.
Their initial exchanges were nothing more than casual hellos, but soon, Jhing began greeting Grei every day.
“One day, naglabay ako sa atubang sang mga parents kag wala ko namulalungan ara man siya gale didto. Then, naghambal sia gulpi lang nga ‘Ma’am good morning, daw pirmi ka lang saku haw? Pahuway-huway bala anay ma’am, pungko diri bala anay ma’am hu,” Grei recalls of their first real conversation.
As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, Jhing’s daily greetings became a routine. Eventually, Jhing mustered the courage to text Grei, asking if she could visit her at home. At that time, Grei didn’t think much of it, as she had always seen Jhing as a friend.
“At first, I didn’t have any romantic feelings for her. I never expected to fall for a lesbian. To me, she was just another friend, and I already had a lot of friends who were lesbians,” says Grei.
But as their bond deepened, things started to change. On July 14, 2011, Jhing visited Grei at her house once again and finally confessed her feelings. Grei, a bit surprised, said yes.
Coming Out to Family and Friends
Both Grei and Jhing grew up in traditional, religious households — Grei’s family was Roman Catholic, while Jhing’s family was Christian. Their relationship wasn’t easily accepted, especially considering that Grei’s family envisioned her with a man, not a woman.
“At first, my family couldn’t accept it. They wanted me to have a family, a man as my partner. As for Jhing, her family didn’t know me very well, so both our families hesitated to accept us,” Grei shares.
The pressure from their families grew so intense that Grei’s mother once cried in front of her, asking her to choose between her family and her partner.
“I’ll never forget the day my mom cried in front of me. She told me to choose — either her or my partner. It broke my heart, but I chose my partner. I left my family, even though I was very close to my father, the only girl among my siblings,” Grei confides.
Despite the painful rejection, Grei and Jhing stood by each other, determined to make their relationship work. Their love, though tested by familial and societal pressures, only grew stronger.
“We rented a house while nagatudlo ako sa isa ka school para lang mapalayu sa mga tsismosa pero salamat sa mga atwo nga naka-intindi sa amon,” said Grei, stressing that they respected the public’s initial reaction.
And time, indeed, is a great healer. As their relationship deepened, their families gradually came to accept them, understanding the depth of their commitment and love.
A Love That Endured Through Challenges
Today, Grei and Jhing are living proof that love transcends all obstacles. Their relationship, which began with a simple greeting, has now withstood over a decade of trials. They’ve learned that love isn’t just about romantic gestures, but about resilience, understanding, and standing by each other through thick and thin.
Both Grei and Jhing are open to the idea of marriage, but only once same-sex marriage becomes legal in the Philippines.
Their heartfelt advice to other same-sex couples who might be facing challenges in their relationships: “This kind of relationship is not easy because a lot of people will discriminate against you and might not accept you. But don’t let those people stop you from being in the relationship you want. Be true to yourself and show love without hesitation. Love has no gender, no color. Love is not about finding the perfect person, it’s about accepting the imperfect person perfectly.”
As we celebrate Valentine’s Day, let their story remind us that love is love — no matter the gender, no matter the obstacles, love will always find a way./PN
