PERHAPS it’s my propensity of admiring contrast or comparison; perhaps it’s the enigma of parallelism; or quite simply, my zodiac sign that attracts me to twin things or dissimilarities. Perhaps all the above.
Although I have lived in four cities in the course of five decades – I do not count Quezon City (I only lived there for three months) and Davao City (I only lived there for five weeks), and Iloilo and Cebu had their charms and made quite an impact on me, it’s still my birth city – Tagbilaran – and adoptive city – General Santos – that top the charts.
The upside of establishing one’s professional career in another city is you are not limited by the conventions and restrictions of your original city – yes, like conjugal parental rule, haha! Furthermore, with parents like mine whose popularity and influence were immense, I am constrained to begin a career by being compared to my folks all the time, and based on personal experience, without being asked repeatedly: “Are you the daughter of Atty. Sales and Ma’am Linda Sales.” In short, I am always seen through the lens of my parents’ achievements.
Well, parents would probably ask “What’s wrong with that?” Parents would probably disagree with me, after all, it’s easier to build a career in your own hometown, however, it’s not in my nature to start easy. I have always wanted a challenge all my life. I want something different which is akin to my divergent self, haha! I wanted to start on my own without anyone knowing me. That way, I can measure my competence, skills, and talents, and be proud of it sans my parents’ large shadows.
So, General Santos City was my battleground to build a career, maximize my personal and professional life, do stuff that hone my talents, abilities, and skills, build new and strong friendships, create a customer base, and establish my brand as a professional. It was exciting and liberating to be able to do stuff without the limitations of being my parents’ daughter. Being compared is confining and limits one’s view of the world.
I know parents would like all their children to find their respective places under the sun, build their own lives, be successful, and stuff like that. But really, what is the measure of success? Money? Fame? Properties?
“Connections?” Some people are so agog with establishing connections like their lives depended on it.
What if my measure of success is simply self-actualization? Like I want to continue writing my column every week; host my own talk show – hopefully, TV again soon; be a loyal and reliable friend; be trustworthy and never betray anyone’s trust.
Everyone has her own measure of success; there is no hard and fast rule. Thus, it’s important you determine yours based on your own standards and not by anyone else’s.
I am also a wanderlust. I had to expand my horizon by going places and being in my adoptive city made me see the difference. It was a good comparison in many areas especially culturally. I come from a highly religious province whereas General Santos City respects differences in faith because we have Muslims and Indigenous People in the city. Religion is open; take your pick.
Boholanos are very keen on education: parents raise their kids to become professionals whereas in General Santos City, people are entrepreneurs. Young people start business enterprises early. The stories of the rich in General Santos City start with humble beginnings. They begin with being entrepreneurs, moving their way up.
Since General Santos City is young as a city, culture and the arts are not that strong yet. We have tri-people in the city composed of Christians, Muslims, and the Indigenous People. Meanwhile, Bohol, being host to centuries-old churches, is strong in culture and the arts, conservative, and clannish.
I have built strong relationships in my adoptive city and I’m going to miss them however, technology is a boon since there is a platform that enables me to easily communicate with friends whom I consider family for the decades I live in General Santos. Like the line of a movie: “It’s about family, and family is who you choose to love.”
So back to the four cities I have lived in five decades, suffice it to say, I have loved and lost in all four cities.
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Writer hosts Woman Talk with Belinda Sales at 91.1 Balita FM Tagbilaran City every Saturday, 4:00-5:00 PM. She can be reached at belindabelsales@gmail.com. Twitter @ShilohRuthie./PN
