THIS YEAR, I did not win a Palanca Award for writing.
That’s why I did a great publicity stunt — the #idecided video. (Find it on Facebook.)
It was a hit.
I posted it at 6 pm on September 19, and before midnight, it had at least one thousand views.
It hit over 2,000 views in less than 24 hours.
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Someone said, “This is really ‘something’ for making ‘not winning’ a win! With the beauty team, media team, and tech team, it’s really a win to make not winning this big.”
I like that.
Because, honestly, I’m not used to losing anymore.
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In fact, I hate the word ‘losing’.
I insist it’s really just ‘not winning’.
If I can put a spin on it, and say I can decide to win, or not to win, please let me.
I’m not hurting anyone.
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Someone commented on the #idecided video thread link, “Because of the heart and soul you put into everything, you win. You will always be a winner in the hearts of everyone.”
That calms my soul.
Because that’s probably one of the best compliments I’ve gotten as a writer, and as an artist.
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So anyway, this year, five Ilonggos and the Peter Solis Nery won at the Palanca Awards.
The five won for Hiligaynon Short Story, Cebuano Short Story, and Tula.
Peter Solis Nery “won” by posting a record as “the first Ilonggo performer” at the 68-year history of Palanca Awards ceremonies.
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Actually, if I may say so myself, my performance wasn’t the most brilliant of the four poetry performances that night.
That honor goes to the poet-reader-performance artist who came in a hospital gown and with an IV pole, and whose performance included a toppling over on the floor.
Yeah, the mic fell on the floor with a big thud, too!
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I was asked to read a set of three poems from the winning collection of poetry written for children.
I did not know I could make a cooking show, and make a full production number of it.
I’ve seen poetry readings at the Palanca awards ceremonies before.
My own winning poems have been read in the year I was elevated into the elite Palanca Hall of Fame.
So, I thought I knew what I was doing.
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But this year, everyone upped the game.
The other reader played the cello while reading the poems.
I don’t remember the poem, but I remember the cello.
Anyway, I still wouldn’t call myself a loser.
So far away from it.
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In fact, from the moment I was asked to read (on September 18), I vowed to be the real big winner of 2018.
Everybody thought I did not win anything at the Palanca this year.
In Iloilo, my detractors thought they could laugh at my “defeat”.
I let them.
For about a week.
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I produced and released the #idecided video, and became bigger than I was.
(A Manila writer-director called me “super brilliant” and “super funny” because of it. He even said, he should be involved when I do something like that again!)
On September 24, I also released a video congratulating all the Ilonggo winners at this year’s Palanca Awards.
I finished it off with the cryptic “Congratulations to all of us!”
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I expected to be mocked.
Because after all, I was making something out of nothing.
I mean, Who announces that they do not win anything?
Because I said “I decided not to win”, my opponents thought they could say “This year, we chose to win”, and laugh at me.
Wrong.
I still decide… so many things.
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I let them have their day.
But just for a day.
For 17 days, I kept in my heart the happy surprise of my special guest performance at the Palanca Awards.
There is nothing more satisfying than making your enemies think you are totally defeated; and then, surprising them with your most brutal slayer moves.
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I researched, and made sure that I am “the first Ilonggo” to perform at the long history of Palanca awards ceremony.
I want “to win” that singular honor of being the first!
The others can eat my dust.
Like always.
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My beauty and tech team got to work.
I have prepared this beautifully beaded Indian sherwani since last year, just in case I won a writing prize this year.
We decided it was too pretty.
(You probably won’t see it until my next big win. Haha!)
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And then, I saw this paisley cloth in maroon and mauve.
And for days, my team and I were arguing whether to wear it tight or loose.
I think I’d be sexy on it tight.
But we settled for a more relaxed loose fit.
So yeah, it looked like a gown, too.
Something that only Peter Solis Nery can rock.
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At the Palanca Awards night, of course, the dress won.
If you are following me on Facebook, my “So Ready to Rock This” post has over 596 likes, and the most lovely comments on how my friends so like the paisley and my hair.
At least nine people at the party asked to be photographed with me, and my costume.
Now, if that doesn’t make you feel like a winner, I don’t know what will.
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But I’m telling you.
It’s not over until I (say it capital, say it bold)— until I say it is over.
Because, frankly, my dearie, I decide.
I decide these things…
And so many other things.
And that makes me THE Peter Solis Nery. (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
