“If you see a black cat crossing your path on Friday the 13th; It can only mean one thing; the black cat is going somewhere.”
If you see a ghost, who do you call? Ghostbusters!
If there’s a fire what do you do? Take a selfie, of course.
If you’re horny, who do you call? Lady Gaga or Leni Robredo? Probably both, then you have a ménage a trois.
What if this happens, who do you call?
Excerpts from the April 9 issue of The Manila Times:
Duterte mulls turning Boracay into ‘land reform area’
BORACAY will be a “land reform area,” President Rodrigo Duterte said on Monday, as he clarified that there was no plan so far for the government to approve a casino project on the island.
In a press conference in Davao City before heading out to China, Duterte said there would be no casinos to be built on Boracay while it was closed for cleaning.
By law, the President insisted that the whole island was fully owned by the government.
“Far from it actually. I never said building anything or even a nipa hut there. What I said is that [the] island itself was owned by the government. I’ve said it before, agricultural ‘yan, pati forestal,” Duterte said.
“Unless there is a law or a proclamation of the president setting aside anything there, any inch of land maybe, then that for all those people to come in. In the meantime, there’s no plan. My order was to clean it up,” he added.
Duterte said Boracay would be placed under land reform and would be given to farmers.
“Master plan? Wala akong master plan diyan linisin ko muna ‘yan kasi agricultural ‘yan. So maybe after that, I’ll give the farmers… I-land reform ko na ‘yan. I tell you now i-land reform ko lahat ‘yan then I’ll give it to the farmers,” Duterte said.
“Sasabihin ninyo how about the business there? I’m sorry but that is the law. The law says that it is forest land, agricultural. Why would I deviate from that? Do I have a good reason to do that?” he added.
These statements from President Rodrigo Duterte resulted into a lot of so-called expert opinions mostly saying that there are no farms in the island of Boracay.
That could very well be true considering the fact that Boracay island is completely the opposite of what it was decades ago. For one, the forest cover is totally gone and the only remaining coconut trees are the ones in the beach while those intended for copra have disappeared.
Let’s just say that President Duterte makes good of his statement to turn over Boracay to the farmers bearing in mind that he is not your usual politician, unconventional to say the least.
Boracay is internationally known as the “party place”; it has dislodged the original “party place” Ibiza in Spain.
The image of island life in Boracay, particularly the “nightlife”, is bohemian, hip and trendy.
And staying true to that image, Boracay can transform itself into a hip and trendy farm, and what is hip and trendy now in agriculture but organic farming?
To transform Boracay after it has been cleaned and rehabilitated into a hip and trendy organic farm, you need an organic farmer messiah to led the islanders into the promise land.
Forget that Mayor Cicero Cawaling; he and his ilk would not know the difference between an organic plant, a sex organ, and a Yamaha organ.
That organic farmer messiah that will part the “green algae” flavored cesspool and lead the people of Boracay into the promise land of organic farming is none other than organic farmer and advocate, Rommel Ynion.
And for the uninitiated or those living under a rock, Rommel Ynion is a filthy rich businessman an erstwhile politician, now a very successful organic farmer who turned an otherwise unproductive patch of raw land somewhere in Cavite into one if not the most successful and profitable organic farms in the country.
He then segued as a restaurateur with “Salad Bowl”, a healthy diner offering what else but organic vegetables from his organic farm.
Just imagine if Boracay is indeed transformed into a hip and trendy organic farm; it would be a big boost not only to tourism but healthy living as well.
Picture this: sexy beach babes in bikinis running amidst the huge organic cucumbers and eggplants.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals or PETA will make Boracay the showcase of being sexy and vegan.
As soon as Congress decriminalizes and legalizes marijuana both medical and recreational, moi will drop everything and set up an organic marijuana plantation in Boracay.
What about the black cat? No connection really, it’s just a silly joke and today happens to be Friday the 13th. (brotherlouie16@gmail.com/PN)
