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BY RHODA GARZON CAMPILLAN
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Tuesday, May 23, 2017
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I LOVE weddings. Weddings make me emotional and sentimental. A thousand of emotions envelop my whole being as I witness two people promise to love each other as long as they both shall live.
Recently, I attended a wedding of my former students. The wedding was in Boracay Island, where the sun met the sea. They were wed at the beach. Their backdrop was the blue sea and golden sky. The scenic background took my breath away.
They were proclaimed husband and wife as the sun slowly sat from the horizon. I was very happy for the both of them. They brought their love to the next level. Ah! Young love!
During the wedding, I was not given a chance to talk to the both of them lengthily. I wanted to share tidbits of wisdom to the young couple as they traverse a new journey, which we call married life. Here it goes:
Married life is full of surprises. You will be surprised to discover a lot of things about your husband and wife. There are times when you will be pissed off. There will be moments when you wish you could run away and never come back. But at the end of the day, it’s a matter of choice. It’s either you choose to stay and accept your wife or husband or you choose to go away and look for another person who will please you.
Compromise is the secret to a peaceful married life. When you were single, you made your own decisions without taking into consideration the feelings of a significant other. Now that you are married, there is another person who will get affected in every decision you make.
There are times when you want to be on the lead. Sometimes you forget that you have a husband or wife to consider. Compromise means you learn to give and take. One has to sacrifice for the other to soar. Married life is being generous and open-minded. Married life is not a contest in which one wins and the other loses. It is about partnership and total surrender.
Agape is the kind of love you need in marriage. Agape is a Greek word for unconditional love. You love the person despite of and in spite of his or her quirks. You will love the person through the worst and good days.
Even if you are at a point where you want to give up, you still choose to love the person. When you love unconditionally, you do not have requirements or specifications. You just love the person the way he or she is. You do not demand the person to change for you. It is stressful when you expect your partner to behave the way you want him or her to behave. Hence, for me agape is the highest form of love. It is beyond Eros or surface love. If couples learn to love unconditionally, perhaps there will be a few cases of divorce or separation.
Being married means you will never be alone. The bride utters these lines in her vows. I am struck. Indeed if you are married you will never be alone. There will always be someone you can lean on through good and bad times. Life will never be boring because you have a constant companion and friend.
In reaching your dreams and aspirations, you have someone to push you and motivate you to achieve your goals. You will only be alone when the other dies. As long as both of you are alive and kicking, you will never ever be alone.
These are just a few lessons I learned in my almost seven years of marriage. I hope that my newlywed students will appreciate these advices and will make these their guide as they begin their new lives together.
Indeed, “great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are a result of consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect and a rock-solid commitment between husband and wife.” – Dave Willis. (rcampillan@usa.edu.ph/PN)
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