Dang, those brilliant words!

BY BELINDA SALES

I WATCHED two good movies Monday this week. Yeah, I am a movie afficionado, if you can call me that. I surf sites just to be able to watch all sorts of films: the classics, romance, family, comedy, period, science-fiction, action, espionage, independent, animated, noir, sometimes thriller, the list can go on. “Goodrich” is a great movie of excruciating self-awareness, stark realization, reluctant healing, and finally, redemption on the part of Goodrich.

There was a captivating scene in the movie where Goodrich said, “You know, the Buddhists say, ‘In the end, there are really only three things that matter: How much you’ve loved, how gently you’ve lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things that really weren’t even meant for you.’”

Damn! such brilliant words. So, true, but so tough. I do not have the statistics to back me up, but I think most people would love deeply by risking it all emotionally, then get burned in the end. However, living gently is quite a struggle because for most of us, we are hard and harsh on ourselves while letting go requires too much effort. Dang, if only life were that easy to navigate but it isn’t.

The expression “Letting go” is overrated because it’s darn hard. It is an enormous and complex process that requires all your effort, patience, even commitment to stick it out, come hell or high waters. It’s like “Move on.” Another crappy expression if you ask me. “Letting go” and “Move on” involve an entire process and processing varies for everyone. No two individuals are alike so you can never expect two human beings confronted by a debilitating experience to heal at the same speed, at the same time. That’s baloney!

However, living gently, because we are still alive and breathing, regardless of status, age, gender, and occupation, or the lack thereof, is still achievable. That’s good news.

When I lost my mother in 2001 to cancer, I read a book that said, “Be gentle with yourself when you’re going through a tough time.” It truly made sense. I applied it as I went through my healing journey. There are temptations to push yourself to “get over it” but it just could not be done because it doesn’t work that way. To each his own. Each journey is unique. But I’m grateful I had that guidance; it was helpful.

Let’s revert to “how much you’ve loved” because it sells, haha! It’s the core of most love stories whether in reel or real life. Alfred Tennyson wrote, “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Are you one of those people who does that? Or after having been scorched, you have turned wiser and more practical in your approach to romance and its labyrinthine intricacies? Still, I believe most people would prefer the option to love fully. Why not, right?

Quite a number of best lines are found in the screenplays of movies – in dialogues, speeches, debates, monologues, introductions, and narrations. They are simply fantastic and if we listen intently, we can learn a lot from these exceptionally-crafted lines. I, for one, am smitten by them.

In the end, Goodrich lost his second wife, who after admitting herself to rehab for drug dependence for ninety days, told him in his face, “We will be better friends,” closed his art gallery business, and lost money. But the offset, he gained a loving relationship – out of a dysfunctional one – with his adult daughter from his first marriage and began a fun relationship with his twin kids from his second marriage. It is a classic lesson of winning and losing at the same time. However, his redemption is vivid and for me, that’s enough.

So, from there, perhaps Goodrich will now follow his own mantra: loving deeply, living gently, and letting go.

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My take: In relation to loving fully, I want to thank all my viewers and listeners for the consistent support to my talk show. Truly heartwarming. I really make sure that each broadcast is a product of preparation, research, and unbridled energy. You get the drift. But to live gently, we need to rest to nurture the passion and sustain the energy, hence, the occasional breaks. Letting go, oh, we got plenty of that haha! Life is full of “letting go” whether it sucks or not.

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The writer hosts Woman Talk with Belinda Sales every Saturday, 10 a.m. at 91.1 Balita FM Tagbilaran City. Email at belindabelsales@gmail.com. X @ShilohRuthie./PN