(By Dr. Joseph D. Lim and Dr. Kenneth Lester Lim, BS-MMG, DDM, MSc-OI)
“IT’S DISGUSTING.”
That’s how a letter to Abigail Van Buren describes the writer’s predicament.
“My husband has terrible oral hygiene,” starts the Dear Abby letter from a wife who calls herself “Embarrassed in Wisconsin”.
It seems that the husband brushes his teeth at night before going to bed but won’t brush them in the morning.
“Embarrassed” continues: “About a year ago, he chipped a front tooth. I have asked him over and over to please get it taken care of. My requests are being ignored. The damage has now become much worse and it’s really noticeable. It doesn’t bother him.
“Nice teeth have always been important to me. When I try to talk to him about it, he walks away. It’s to the point that I no longer want to go anywhere with him because it’s embarrassing. We have an event to go to soon and I’m dreading it.
“This may seem trivial, but I see the dentist on a regular basis and he hasn’t gone in years.
“It isn’t the money; he has no problem spending money on his toys. Please tell me how to handle this. It’s causing some major issues between us.
“Am I asking for too much? Signed by EMBARRASSED IN WISCONSIN.”
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“Dear Abby” is an American advice column founded in 1956 by Pauline Phillips under the pen name “Abigail Van Buren” and carried on today by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips.
It has a readership estimated in 2016 at 110 million; in the 1980s, over 1,200 newspapers carried the column. The New York Times describes the syndicated column as “a staple in American households for decades.”
To the hapless advice seeker, “Abby” replied:
“Dear Embarrassed:
“People sometimes let their dental health lapse because they don’t see what others do when they speak or smile.
“Your husband may have a fear of dentists, or think you are nagging him for the pleasure of it. If his damaged tooth is ignored much longer, he may wind up losing it.
You might be able to get your point across if you film him with your cellphone while he’s speaking, laughing, etc., and show him what you and others have been seeing. (If that doesn’t help, suggest that because of the upsurge in COVID variants, he wear a mask to the event.)”
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Dr. Joseph D. Lim, Ed. D., is the former Associate Dean of the College of Dentistry, University of the East; former Dean, College of Dentistry, National University; Past President and Honorary Fellow of the Asian Oral Implant Academy; Honorary Fellow of the Japan College of Oral Implantologists; Honorary Life Member of the Thai Association of Dental Implantology; and Founding Chairman of the Philippine College of Oral Implantologists. For questions on dental health, e-mail jdlim2008@gmail.com or text 0917-8591515.
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Dr. Kenneth Lester Lim, BS-MMG, DDM, MSc-OI, graduated Doctor of Dental Medicine, University of the Philippines, College of Dentistry, Manila, 2011; Bachelor of Science in Marketing Management, De la Salle University, Manila, 2002; and Master of Science (MSc.) in Oral Implantology, Goethe University, Frankfurt, Germany, 2019. He is an Associate Professor; Fellow, International Congress of Oral Implantologists; Member, American Academy of Implant Dentistry and Fellow, Philippine College of Oral Implantologists. For questions on dental health, e-mail limdentalcenter@gmail.com./PN
