AN AUNT celebrated her 70th birthday three weeks ago.
In a way, I hosted it.
She lives in Kidapawan now, but she wanted her birthday celebration in Dumangas.
I live in Dumangas, and I know the town better than anyone.
***
Call it God’s plan or whatever, but the weeks before her event, I have been going around Dumangas dining and partying in the new and grand places to party and dine.
I was in a perfect position to recommend, or at least guide.
***
My brother owns Thelma’s Restaurant at our PRIMA CT Building.
They cook decent food, and have been catering parties since before the pandemic.
PRIMA CT has the advantage of central poblacion location, and obviously, family “feels”.
I suggested they can play mahjong to pass the afternoon, and even dance a little as the wide second floor of our building can be closed to the public.
***
Two days before the affair, my aunts (the birthday girl, her sister, her sister-in-law, and her cousin) visited Dumangas.
I took them to several places with varying ambience.
We even got invited to free lunch at a place that is having a grand opening.
But in the end, Auntie decided on Thelma’s Restaurant catering services.
***
I think the promise of mahjong party sealed the deal.
Of course, that a brother of mine (in the US) promised the lechon also sweetened the deal.
Long story short, we had a grand party at our ancestral house.
Everybody happy.
***
My brother may have gifted a lechon.
And another brother may have well-budgeted a catering job for less than P10,000.
But my greatest gift was hosting and entertainment.
For at least three days!
***
How do you deal with seniors 20 or 25 years older than you?
With love and patience, of course.
Respect is a relative word for me.
I can only respect a person who respects me, and can respect other people, too.
I do not have reverence for people just because they’re older than I am.
***
With reverence out of the way, life becomes fabulous.
Chats and conversations become more exciting because we can contradict and oppose.
We can disagree, and learn tolerance.
In fact, the greatest gift I had for everyone during my days with my aunts was tolerance and that sense of inclusivity.
Everyone felt accepted and affirmed.
No one was left out.
***
There were tight spots like when I was asked which aunt was the prettiest.
A real apple of discord.
To which I answered, We, people of a certain age, are beyond pretty.
Pretty is for teenagers.
We aren’t pretty; we are beautiful.
To which they ask, Which aunt then is the most beautiful?
***
To which I answered at length: The concept of beauty in a woman is changing.
Even black Miss Botswana can become Miss Universe in our time.
Each woman is beautiful differently.
It’s how we embrace beauty, and the sense of the beautiful that makes us great.
***
One aunt is a physicist (even if I think that she just has a degree in Physics).
One is a great nurse (even if I think that all Filipino nurses who retired in America are great).
One is a daring risk-taker who raised her three children singlehandedly.
One is a saint who despite my early dislike of her, proved to be a sturdy caregiver for my bedridden uncle.
***
I do not like my aunts to ask me who is prettiest, most beautiful, or even wealthiest.
Instead, I like to ask them, Are you happy right now?
What makes you happy?
What is your beauty care regimen?
What maintenance medication, if any, do you take?
Where was your last vacation?
***
I and my aunts are of a certain age now.
I’m 54. They’re on their 70s or late 60s at least.
I like that I can still amaze them with my wisdom.
If they think I have as much (or even more) money as they, I let them think that way.
Why contradict women in their fabulous years?/PN
