THE MUSIC is now “Fast Car”, cover by Luke Combs.
I think the original is by Tracy Chapman.
I’m on my second order of coffee.
(It would really make sense if you started reading this “journal” last Monday.)
At the rate I’m going, I can finish three issues worth of column articles before the morning is over.
***
There is no big compelling reason for me to be writing this rainy (Thursday) morning.
I could have stayed in bed.
But it stopped raining for a bit when I woke up this morning.
So I biked my way to my regular coffee shop.
***
I was the lone customer when I came in so I pulled out my iPad where I write my column pieces.
I’m thinking, if I write enough nonsense, I’ll probably come to some great ideas. Haha.
And that’s just me: I often engage people frivolously at first.
Like I’m testing the water.
***
You see, where I come from, or where I live now, people don’t want to go straight to the profound stuff.
They don’t want to hear “You look beautiful” right away.
Where I live now, we first say, “What’s wrong with your make up?”
And after ten minutes of utter nonsense, we say, “Oh, by the way, very seriously, you look beautiful.”
***
And so it is when I talk about getting tested for HIV.
I compliment their hooker looks, ask about their promiscuous sex life.
Inquire about the sexual health of their neighbors and boyfriends, and then I give my stand on being tested for HIV and STIs regularly.
Finally, I tell them where to get tested for free, and what else they can get for free.
***
And so it is with my writing.
If I have three columns to write each week, I think I can afford to be frivolous in my beginnings.
Or even in my whole writing.
Because I know that somehow, somewhere, people will get something.
And I would hate them to be directly assaulted every time with my golden nuggets of wisdom.
***
Can I really bore people with my writing?
You tell me!
Because this one boy goes to Bo’s Cafe in Iloilo City all the time just because he can free read my column in Panay News.
He would take a photo of my article on the newspaper, and send it to me via FB Messenger.
I would heart it, of course.
***
So, I ask him, Why don’t you just download the Panay News app?
Why not just follow my column online?
The boy, 25 or 27, says: But it’s different to read you in a newspaper newspaper.
Newspaper newspaper—I like that.
Like there’s an online newspaper, and there’s a newspaper on paper called a newspaper newspaper.
***
It is not lost to me that people read me in the newspaper to relax.
Be entertained.
Read something chill.
Maybe something outrageous, fantastical, surreal. But chill.
Always chill.
***
It is clear to me that in my columns, since I have much space to cover, I can explore my stream of consciousness writing.
It is psychotherapy for me.
To empty my mind by writing out what I’m thinking.
***
And I like it that I write my mind out, and publish it on the newspaper because as I have decided twenty years ago, if people don’t want to read my stuff, they can read everything else on the newspaper.
My writings are only there for the people who need it.
***
Still, to know that certain people continue to read me through the years is an awesome feeling.
As flattering as learning that new people are discovering me on the newspaper.
There’s a different high from winning literary awards, but I’ve always been fueled by a bigger readership.
Readers who pass not literary judgment, but common sense judgment.
Is this writer worth reading still?
Is this writer still relevant in the 2020s?/PN
