BEING a friend to your child is essential for a healthy family life and positive future for them. Worry or suspicion should never be a point of conflict between parents and their children.
Building a strong relationship by shared activities with non-challenging conversation and doing things together is what builds friendship. They will feel the trust, understanding, affirmation and being loved by the parents. They will then listen to the friendly advice about the dangers of on-line grooming relationships.
Pope Francis has recently declared a new church law criminalizing grooming by clerics and lay leaders in the church.
The damage and hurt to children starts early in life nowadays. Our recent survey of a small sample of 23 Filipino boys from troubled backgrounds and broken homes and who are now aged 15 to 17 years of age gives us an important insight. They have revealed troubling and some shocking information. While it may not be representative of youth at large, it is a troubling phenomenon as they implicate their peers and adults as the people who introduced them to view the inappropriate videos and images. It is indicative that viewing these sexual images and videos on-line is widespread.
Of the 23 boys interviewed, three of them watched sexual child abuse images at the age of seven years old. Two were eight years old while seven of them watched sexual acts online from nine years old and the rest were from 10 to 13 years of age. That is a very young age to be introduced to videos and images of sexual intercourse. There is for many youths an immediate change of perspective and relationship to their parents and girls as a result. They tend to see girls as sexual objects rather than childhood friends.
Of the 23 interviewed, they watched in a computer shop, on a cell phone or on a personal desktop computer. Sixteen of them were introduced to the images by peers and four said they were shown adult pornography by adult neighbors. One was shown pornography by a stranger. Two searched for images themselves and easily found them online. When asked what they feel after watching, ten boys said they felt the desire to have a sexual experience. Three said they felt satisfied and self-pleasured themselves. Two said they felt nothing and the rest said they watched more similar images online. One said he had same sex experience as a result; another said he took a shower and was nervous.
Nine boys reported that their first sexual contact was at the ages of 10, 11, 12 and 15 years of age. Four said they cannot remember how old they were. Ten boys interviewed said that while they watched child abuse material and adult pornography, they did not have any sexual contact.
Yet all of their lives went astray. They were estranged from their parents and family, fell into conflict with the law and stopped studying. How much of this was because of viewing child abuse material or adult pornography at an early age we cannot say but for sure it has a strong negative impact on their self-image and how they view others. Many have sex at an early age. Philippine teenage pregnancy is among the highest in the world.
In Subic, Zambales, three boys 10, 11 and 12 years old, gang raped a six-year old child after watching child abuse material and videos on their cell phones. This proliferation of child abuse material must be stopped and the ISPs must be controlled by strict implementation of the law. (www.preda.org)/PN
