THIS CONTINUES the story I started telling in my last column “Great Expectations 1: Palanca Rush”.
On May 31, I started a last day entry to the 2023 Palanca Awards.
By 7:17 in the evening, I have finished the first draft.
By 9:30, I was on my final draft.
***
I’m sure it would have been fine to convert the files at that time.
But commitment to perfection on my part demanded that I relaxed first, and do one more final check.
So I listened to “Yes” by Liza Minelli from the album “Liza With A ‘Z’” to distance myself from the piece.
Because that song is the spirit by which I hammered on the keyboards.
In fact, that’s my Palanca story:
“You’ll never win if you never play!”
***
And that’s how it happened that I submitted one more Palanca entry at 10:45pm, one hour and 15 minutes before the midnight cut off.
Was it the hunger that drove me to the finish?
Well, hunger for one more good story, for sure.
Maybe for one more Palanca gold medal? Haha.
But working on that piece with all my hopes for more glory made me so hungry that my friend and I taxied our way to a fast food chain before midnight.
I ate a spaghetti and a chicken leg!
***
In years past, to win a Palanca is a prayer.
And then came the years when people kind of expected me to win a Palanca in every year that I joined.
And then it happened that the new expectation is for me is to join every year, and win!
***
I’m not sure that my two wins last year created the expectation that I should win more than just one award this year.
It could just be me forcing myself to achieve more.
As if to keep my motto about commitment, productivity, and integrity.
Or it could simply be me psyching myself to finish the story in less than ten hours. Haha.
***
Bottom line, it is not easy to be “the most awarded Ilonggo writer in history”.
I’m sure I have created a wide gap between me and the next contender, but I’m not one who usually keeps it easy.
***
Productivity. I have to produce!
Commitment. I have to be faithful to my call as a great producer of literature from the region.
Integrity. I have to keep my award count high to keep my “most awarded” title. Haha.
***
And then, there is the expectation that I will be graceful in defeat.
That I will inspire and teach people how to deal with losing in competitions.
Well, eff that!
At least in the Hiligaynon category, I always feel that some literary politics are happening right in the judging of literary competitions like the Palanca.
***
Of course, there are some key people now who would corroborate what I’m saying.
Still, I hope that people would transcend their pettiness, and begin to subscribe to my superior ideals of integrity, commitment, and productivity.
Because, frankly, I can deal with defeat when competitions are won fair and square.
***
To be very honest, I would still be a little pissed if I don’t get any more Palanca this year.
But I’m already getting an award for my excellent job in championing Hiligaynon literature and regional culture in August.
This is a national award, something like a lifetime achievement, so I think that will carry me through the end of the year.
***
My friends have been telling me that this award is long overdue.
I really don’t care.
It’s really good timing for me that I’m given this in 2023.
In the end, everything works for me.
So thank you for this award.
***
I didn’t release any book last year.
But I already have a ton of materials to turn into a book so I’m not really worried.
Still, completing the new 100 erotic poems before June is a major achievement.
I hope I get to publish it before the end of the year.
***
What does it mean to be an erotic poet in this county?
Firstly, I have to say that it is hard to be a poet in the Philippines.
There are so many smart people here that say so many things that only make sense to themselves.
If you haven’t noticed, most of our so-called important poets are academics.
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If you also haven’t noticed (you must be blind by now), they are academics crowing each other for poetry that we cannot understand.
At the Palanca contest, for example, there’s a contest for poetry, and there’s another category for poetry written for children.
I’m not saying that this is right or wrong, but good luck!
***
This story continues as “Great Expectations 3: Sex Positive” in my next column. (To be continued)/PN
