BY LUKE TRASPORTO
IT WAS May 16, 2018, when I returned coaching football after being away for months. It hasn’t been one year since I graduated from college and passed the Social Work Board Exam. I just resigned from my first job. Unexpectedly, some situations occurred, which prompted me to post a poll on my Instagram account, asking whether I should advocate for mental health or not.
With Mental Health Law co-authors Senators Risa Hontiveros and Bam Aquino during a mental health advocacy event in 2018 at the Central Philippine University.
Surprisingly, 100 percent responded in the affirmative. On that day, little did I know that I have just made one of the best decisions in my life!
Now, what stirred me to advocate for mental health?
I have two reasons. First is I would never like anyone to experience what I’ve gone through. The other was the death of two very dear people – classmate and football teammate – due to suicide.
I never imagined that they would commit suicide because they were some of the happiest people I know. They are cheerful and full of positive vibes. Those two amazing people were also friendly, but I guess we can never predict what is inside one’s head.
Taking a trip to memory lane, my teammate’s last message to me was he wanted to join in playing football because he’s planning to visit Iloilo.
On the other hand, a classmate messaged me, asking if I still play football. That was after she invited me to a birthday party. I never thought that it would be the last time seeing her name popping on the message screen of my phone.
Looking back to what has happened, I always question myself, what if I kept in touch with them more before? What if they were indirectly telling me that they needed someone to listen to them?
Perhaps, if I responded to their messages back then, maybe I would still be hearing their laughs and see the radiant smiles plastered on their faces.
The passing of two people who have a special place in my heart etched a lesson on my mind: We need to accept and learn from the past to be more equipped in facing the future!
This is to let everyone know how excruciatingly painful it is to experience depression, to be in the lowest of the low in life, which may lead to one thinking that death would ironically be a better option.
Life isn’t all sunny days and rainbows. There are times that storms come, and if unprepared, it will allow darkness to wrap us and poison our thoughts as we sink deeper and deeper into a more toxic situation each day.
Depression is real. Suicide is not a joke. It is something evil that only brings pain, tears, and destruction to people’s lives.
I may look happy and seem to have a good life, but I assure you that I had my fair share of dark days, too. Somewhat darker days happened recently, yet for now, I’ll share some things that I have to go through before I decided to advocate for mental health.
The year 2017 was an eye-opener for me. A milestone, if some would say. I graduated from college and passed the Social Work Board Exam in the same year. I had various job offers, had the opportunity to participate in the Philippine Football Federation’s week-long Youth Coaching License Course, had the chance to be an assistant coach, and opportunity to travel.
It is normal to expect that after graduation, one would find a job, get married, start a family, and live happily ever after. Real life isn’t a fairy tale for me, but a horror story.
As I have encountered a lot of good firsts in that year, there were moments where I wish I have not gone through.
After finishing my Youth Coaching License Course, I badly wanted to become a full-time coach right off the bat. Due to some circumstances, I ended up helping an office. The pay was good for a fresh graduate, and the opportunities there were great. However, if it’s not for you, it’s not for you.
As my contract was about to be signed, as usual, one would be ecstatic because finally, he will get a job. In my case, one night in our car with my family, I suddenly shivered and burst into tears as my neck and head ached tremendously. I wasn’t happy. I was a mess. A real mess.
I did not accept the contract. Then days swiftly changed to months, and the next thing I knew, I was already scheduled for an appointment with a psychiatrist.
Depression isn’t a pretty experience. Depression plays with our minds and devours us alive as time passes by. It makes us think that we’re alone and trapped in sadness. And if not dealt with will eventually lead to suicide.
I consider myself fortunate to have people who helped me. If it had not been for them, for sure, I would not be here sharing this story today.
I represented the School of Graduate Studies in the Mr. & Ms. Central Philippine University 2018 pageant, and I have the chance to share my mental health advocacy story in the interview portion.
But, how about those who have the worst situation than I and don’t have someone that would help them as I had? More reasons for me and hopefully for you to help out people beyond our families and friends in the future./PN
