By Aiza dela Cruz
I DID not outright know that my son was autistic. Although I did encounter the word in my psychology class during my college years, it was just general information. In fact, I am more familiar with the word used as a derogatory term for people who act weird.
So how did I know that my son was autistic?
My mother-in-law, who is a pediatrician, called my husband’s attention that our son doesn’t seem to be hitting developmental milestones, specifically speaking and eye contact. She was concerned that our son might have a hearing disability because he does not respond when his name is called.
However, our son already had his hearing test when he was a few months old, and it came out as normal. So we had our son’s hearing checked for the second time. It was normal. We also had him checked by an ear specialist and it was normal based on physical examination, but recommended that we have him undergo a thorough examination, just to be sure, in Manila as they have specialized hearing test centers there.
My mother-in-law also broached the idea that there must be something wrong with our son. As parents, we insisted on our son’s “normalness,” but I researched on the behaviors he displayed that were of concern to my mother-in-law. It was then that I encountered the word “autism.”
My husband and I were both resistant about it but we wanted answers and confirmation so we decided to look for centers or clinics that may be able to help us. We checked with a center in Iloilo City and the owner, who is a therapist, attributed our son’s non-speaking behavior as speech delay. We had a few sessions, but the travel time took a toll on us.
My mother-in-law suggested we search for a hearing test center in Manila. I decided to do more than that. The more I researched, the more convinced I am that our son might be autistic. I was really hoping the opposite and I wanted to be sure. I searched various articles on the internet as to what steps I should do if I suspect that my child is autistic.
Articles in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and the UK were very helpful as they have a dedicated help system for parents with kids who have special needs. It said that I need a child psychologist, developmental pediatrician, speech pathologist, occupational therapist, and a special education teacher. We only have special education teachers in Aklan and none of the specialists mentioned.
I searched for all these experts on the internet and they were all in Manila, so I set appointments with them. Since appointments with the child psychologist and development pediatricians have a long waiting time, I had my son start his therapy sessions with the speech therapist and the occupational therapist.
The two therapists assessed my son and both diagnosed him to be autistic and recommended that we check with the child psychologist and development pediatrician for a proper diagnosis.
The long wait time for our appointments with the doctors helped my husband and I process our thoughts and emotions. Time helped us accept our son’s circumstances and map out a plan to help him. It was helpful that my husband and I talked a lot about our son, and even cried together, because this helped with our acceptance and strengthened us.
When we finally met with our child psychologist, Dr. Nick Martorano, my husband and I had almost 100 percent accepted the strong possibility that our son was autistic. Dr. Martorano interviewed us about our son. He then discussed to us topics on autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). His explanations were considerately helpful and hopeful. He was frank but encouraging while speaking about the advantages and disadvantages of people with autism.
Dr. Martorano’s assessment of our son was about a month after, which also helped with our acceptance process. He was surprised that we have already accepted our son’s condition and that we are already on the stage of wanting to help our son because, commonly, it takes some parents some time to emotionally process such results with others getting second and third opinions. He said the first key to helping our son was acceptance on my part as the mother.
Dr. Martorano said it was good that we already took steps in helping our son such as getting a speech pathologist and occupational therapist even before getting the diagnosis from him and from a developmental pediatrician. This saved us precious time as early intervention greatly helps autistic children.
I am thankful that we were able to find experts and specialists who were helpful and did not have any of the traditional stigma towards autism. My husband and I were also grateful that my parents-in-law were very supportive.
I am sharing this to advocate for my son and to help other parents struggling to understand their children who have special needs as we have little to no readily available local materials. I am not an expert on such matters, but I want to share my experience if it helps people to understand children on the autism spectrum.
Jan. 18 to 24 is the 25th National Autism Consciousness Week. This year’s theme, “Pilipinong May Autismo: Kakaiba, Kasali, Konektado,” intends to further societal awareness on the uniqueness of Filipinos on the spectrum; inclusive development in human rights, education, employment, media, among others; and individual self-awareness, self-expression and the feeling of belongingness to a society.
I enjoin everyone to have more compassion and understanding for all children with special needs.
I would also like to hear the experiences of other parents who have children on the autism spectrum. You may email me on genevieveaiza.delacruz@gmail.com. I am a member of the Autism Society Philippines (ASP), a national, non-profit organization dedicated to the well-being of persons on the autism spectrum disorder./PN
