How I potty-train my son

BY AIZA DELA CRUZ

POTTY training is one the most basic self-care activities that children must learn. My son was already four years old when we started potty-training him. We had several attempts to potty-train him when he was younger but it proved to be difficult as he was non-verbal at that time.

Here are the things we did to potty-train him:

Introducing the toilet

We brought our son to the toilet and explained the things we do here. My husband would show him how to pee as they have the same sexual organ so it would be easier for our son to associate himself with the act.

However, our son refused to go to the toilet for reason unknown to us. When I looked back to the time when my son was taking classes with his Special Education teacher, he refused to go to the toilet because the lights were dim. We changed the lights to make the toilet brighter and he became cooperative while we were teaching him.  

Remove the diaper

Our mentors during the HomEmpowerment Program of the Autism Society Philippines (ASP) reminded us to wean out our son from wearing diapers. We were hesitant at first as he would not say when he wants to pee or to poop.

We were already on our second week of potty training and there seems to be no improvement. Our speech pathologist suggested that our son may still not be able to recognize when he needs to go to the toilet. We worked with our occupational therapist and ASP mentors to recognize signs as to when he might need to go to the toilet. We also used the word “toilet” when we bring him there. Then, we tell him whether the action he is doing is pee or poop.

Keeping a schedule

We also had to keep a schedule on when our son most likely pees or poops. We had to keep tabs on the time and the frequency with which he pees or poops in a day. We did this every day.

This was a bit challenging at first because our son could not recognize his own body’s need to go to the toilet. Despite keeping a schedule, our son’s pooping schedule was irregular. We later learned that our son was preventing his need to poop especially when he is busy playing.

The schedule, however, helped him to recognize the need to pee. He also learned to tell us when he needs to pee.

Picture schedule

The most effective method in potty-training our son was when the picture schedule was introduced to him. Our ASP mentors helped us in preparing the picture schedule.

The act of toileting, peeing and pooping, was broken down into small actions done in a sequence. I looked for specific pictures for a specific action and printed them with two to three words describing the act.

It was a hit. Our son saw it was fun to go to the toilet and he would read the pictures as he did the actions. Eventually, he went to the toilet himself with no assistance from us.

Specific praises

Our ASP mentors taught and always reminded us to be specific in our praises. We can’t just say “good job”, “great”, and “good boy”.

We have to specify what acts we were praising. Instead of just saying “good job”, we have to say “good peeing” or “good pooping”. This is to make our son understand as to what act of his we were praising. It is also to encourage him to do the same act again, and to say the specific act.

Our son was happy and excited to receive praises thus, he became more open to doing things.

Be consistent

This was the hardest to follow. When we started potty-training our son, there were times when we would make him wear diapers because we were afraid he would pee on the bed or the sofa. We learned that this was not helping him and we were only doing things based on our convenience.

So we had to be strict on ourselves, be forgiving of accidents, and be patient in teaching our son. We, as parents, should be the ones who should adapt to the needs and situation of our child. We always had a mop, rags, and tissues ready in case of accidents. We also lost count of washing and drying out our sofa and bed. But we did not get angry, scold or yell at our son. Even though he has finished with his “business”, we still brought him to the toilet and made him pee or poop as the act itself will remind him as to what he should have done and said.

We had to do this for about a month. However, keep in mind that children have different timelines. They have different ways of learning. What worked for one child may not work for the other. It may take a week for one child to learn and may take two months for the other. You cannot put a deadline on their learning.  

Being consistent is the key to ensuring success in potty training.

I enjoin everyone to have more compassion and understanding for all children with different abilities.

I would also like to hear the experiences of other parents who have children on the autism spectrum. You may email me at genevieveaiza.delacruz@gmail.com. I am a member of the Autism Society Philippines (ASP), a national non-profit organization dedicated to the well-being of persons on autism spectrum disorder./PN