SO THIS guy asked—
Why me?
And why (did you come to my life) just now?
I thought that I should answer these questions.
In this week’s two installments of my column “My Life as Art”.
Just in case this boy and I don’t end up together.
And another guy asks me the same questions in the near future.
*
In September this year, my “The September Project” on Facebook will be four years old.
The September Project, of course, is an online experiment to find me a boyfriend via social media.
I became a widower in December of 2014.
Because I was such a good husband, my friends were worried about me being alone, and single again.
Because I am pretty young to be a widower at 45, my friends thought that I should try and be open to find another love.
*
My friends are very nice.
And convincing.
Not that I needed much convincing myself.
But I told them, it’s hard to find someone my age who is not yet committed.
Or not a total jerk.
I also told my friends I don’t frequent the bars anymore so my chances of finding men are very slim.
Not that the men one finds in bars are the best husband materials anyway.
*
But I also meant that I have retired myself from Nursing so I have zero chance of meeting someone from the workplace.
And I globe-trot a lot.
Always spending only a few days in certain cities all over the world.
Then, when I am in the Philippines, my time is spent mostly on lecture tours, filmmaking, giving performances and shows, seminars, and in catch up lunches and dinners with all sorts of fans and friends who are mostly married, if not school age minors.
*
When I am home in Maryland, I am big a home buddy.
Enjoying my vast libraries of books, videos, movies, and music.
I write a lot.
Read a lot.
Write a lot.
I sometimes cook to break the monotony.
And cooking is usually a big event, sometimes a whole day affair, because I cook big portions to last me a week, or even a month.
Packing them in small daily portions, and freezing them is the key of home-cooking for a household of one.
*
Aside from reading, and writing, I spend quite a considerable time on social media: Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter.
And I also used to have those dating and hookup sites or apps like Zoosk, Tinder, and Grindr.
But mostly, I’m on Facebook and Facebook Messenger attending to my fans of teachers and students who frequently ask about my literary body of works that they study and analyze in school.
So, my friends suggested I create a page on Facebook that is dedicated to a 30-day quest, a search for a boyfriend.
That was for September of 2015.
*
I didn’t land a boyfriend that month.
And obviously, fortunately or unfortunately, until now.
But The September Project created a hunger in me.
I mean, it’s not so bad that I’m starving, but I now have a strong craving for a boyfriend.
For someone who will stay.
I mean, I am not desperate.
Although I think that’s how I am perceived because I am always seen and in focus on social media.
*
I mean, I know a lot of people desperate for love, or boyfriends, in real life.
But they don’t sound desperate because they do not make any sound about it!
They bear their desperation in silence!
And sometimes, carry such desperation to their graves.
Or, if they act desperately on their desperation, they keep no records of it.
They don’t post about their desperate feelings on Facebook like I do.
But you see, I am an original.
I want to be brave about this.
*
I want people to see that expressing our wants and desires is not an act of desperation.
That honesty is still the best policy.
That you should tell people that your stomach is hurting if your stomach is hurting.
Because no one will help you if they do not know that you are hurting.
I mean, how will people propose to me if they don’t know that I am available?
Or that I am looking?
*
Also, I want people to understand—
That it is okay not to give a damn about what other people might think of me.
That I am truly living the Life.
That I am a most fully self-actualized person because I do what I want without seeking other people’s approval.
*
That I am living the best version of myself.
And I am powerful because I am thus empowered.
And that makes me a legend.
And that makes me “the” Peter Solis Nery.
*
Because I am brave like this, most people consider me a hero.
A paragon, an exemplar, their ideal of a fearless love survivor in the new millennium.
I am their idol.
I am their love icon.
And they profess to be my fans.
But I digress.
So, I hope you will read the continuation of this article on Wednesday.
I mean, after all, I Am Love. (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
