LAST week, two boys (ahem, legal age!) visited me in Dumangas.
Well, I’m not going to give it all to you.
But either they visited me via their own motorcycle, or they came home with me via my Mitsubishi Adventure after a dinner date in the city.
Anyway, two boys. With ThePSN. In Dumangas.
And just to clarify, it’s one boy after the other.
Maybe two days (nights!) apart.
***
The boys have observed me up close, and personal.
Very close.
Very personal.
And both, at one point said,
“Oh my God! Everybody calls out your name.
Everybody waves at you.
You are very popular.
Maybe you should run for mayor.”
And I say, “Why be a public servant when I can be queen?”
***
Now then, it has been for a while that I am royalty in my town.
Literary royalty.
Celebrity.
Queen. King.
Whatever you call it.
***
The people in my town are not stupid.
Not illiterate.
They know the importance and significance of Palanca Awards.
And I am the town’s biggest Palanca winner.
With 19 of such awards.
It might take 25 years for another Dumangasanon to surpass me.
Or, surpassing me may never ever happen.
***
Anyway, people know me.
They stop me in the streets.
They take selfies with me.
They wave at me, call out my name so I would at least turn to face their direction.
People feed me, give me directions, bring me their farm produce.
***
People come to me with their doctor prescriptions, and all sorts of solicitation letters, too.
But since my candidates lost in the last elections, I just tell them, “Sorry, go to your elected officials!”
Or, “Go to Angat-Buhay Foundation.
They promised you continued service, I did not.”
I’m just rich.
It doesn’t mean that I’m ready to give away my money to the poor, stupid Filipinos.
***
See now why I don’t want to run for public office?
Meanwhile, I enjoy the public adulation.
Of course, I understand that it could just be novelty.
People haven’t seen me in person in two years.
(I was last in Dumangas in March 2020, just days before the Philippine lockdown.)
***
Also, I am some kind of a lucky charm.
Since somebody described me as a Midas, who turns into gold everything he touches, my mission has become clearer to me.
In fact, every commercial establishment I visit, or take a selfie with, flourishes.
Even for just a day.
Thus, my new preoccupation of endorsing the best products of every coffeeshop, restaurant, pizza place, et cetera.
(Check out my Facebook posts, and reviews.)
***
Thus, the invitations to restaurant openings.
Thus, the appreciation posts of my visits to their shops.
Thus, the propagation of my legend as a supporter of young entrepreneurs.
Thus, my status as patron of all things 2020.
Be it art, food, culture, boys, et cetera.
***
And because I do things right, and beautifully, I am afforded even more celebrity status.
I get royal treatment.
I get more love.
I get my tuba/ coconut wine in the morning, I chat the roadside folks, and I get invited to a debutant’s birthday party.
Randomly!
I’m pretty sure they don’t expect me to appear.
***
But I did appear.
I do appear.
When I give my word, I fulfill it!
And the celebrator, teary-eyed said, “I didn’t believe you would actually come.”
I understand her.
Her guests were wide-eyed, jaw-dropped to see me in her front yard party.
***
The royal treatment: Her gorgeous brother escorted me inside their house, where he insisted I eat.
And everybody knows that I can eat.
My, I could have eaten the brother. Haha.
But that’s another story. (To be continued/PN)
