I KNOW how that sounds.
And I really wanted to say “In bed with my niece.”
But somehow, I know that “…with my nephew” will grab you more.
I mean, I am gay; and most of you are judgmental people. Haha.
***
I got two nephews in the UK: the older one is sixteen, the younger is eleven.
I got a niece who turned seven, and she is a joy in my life.
I mean, when she was two months old, my sister took her to the US, and literally dropped her on my lap.
I took care of the infant until she was six months old, and had to return to England.
I actually recorded on video the first time she turned on her stomach!
***
I was an expert in mixing the formula milk for this girl.
And in changing diapers.
I was brilliant in giving the baby a shower; and though not a singer, I have established a sweet lullaby for her.
Don’t laugh now, but it’s “Unusual Way” from the musical “Nine.”
In the filmed version, “Unusual Way” was sung by Nicole Kidman.
***
When my niece was three, I visited the family in the UK.
And true story: I sang to her the song while I was lying on the couch, and she fell asleep on top of my chest.
I wanted to replicate the experiment, so on my third week in England last month, when the kids climbed unto my bed for stories, I sang “Unusual Way” again, and the girl just dropped dead asleep.
And was freaking snoring!
***
To be honest, it’s hard to be with my nephews and nieces now.
Whether it is in California (they’re in their early twenties), Maryland (all nephews), the Philippines (all nieces), or in the UK (the mixed bunch).
Everybody is on their freaking gadget!
***
But because I am a novelty to my British nephews and niece, I have better luck to be hugged, kissed, and physically contacted.
On Christmas Day, while in the living room, I took a priceless photo of the feet of my nephew and niece laid on top of my legs.
It was precious!
I mean, in the time of physical distancing, there we were huddled together.
***
On the nights before the New Year, after the English Boxing Day (December 26), and after the other visiting relatives left (December 27), I decided to sleep on the couch.
The better to enjoy the TV until the wee hours of the morning. Haha.
And because it was Christmas break, the kids were allowed to snuggle in with me until past midnight.
And so, we slept together on the couch and pull-out bed: me, my nephews, and my niece.
***
By virtue of being unica hija, the niece gets a big chunk of my love.
Spoiled brat she is, getting most of her way; if not by charm, by tears. Haha.
It’s harder to choose between the nephews.
Both are brilliant for their age.
The sixteener is undergoing the teenage experience, but still talks to me.
He shuts to himself in his room most of the time, but always makes a point to come down around midnight to say hi, and have his midnight snack/dinner/breakfast.
***
The eleven is suffering the middle child syndrome.
But is totally sensitive and lovable.
I love his vocabulary, and he is pretty artistic with drawing and colors.
I told them I didn’t want any gifts for Christmas, but he still bought me a pink(!) daily planner/journal.
How can you not love that kid?
***
His favorite show is “Stuck in the Middle.”
You guessed it — it’s about a creative and precocious middle child.
I’m pretty sure it’s from the Disney Channel.
Then, one night, when there was just him and me, he asked me if I wanted to watch something else.
I got pretty tired with “Stuck in the Middle” after five days, so I said, Sure.
He suggested “Encanto” which he has already watched.
I consider that a great sacrifice: watching a movie again just because your uncle hasn’t seen it yet.
***
The niece came down to watch the movie with us.
She claimed my right armpit.
And the jealous middle child decided he should be in bed with me, too.
He claimed my left armpit.
Maybe because they’ve both seen the movie before, they were soon both snoring in their innocent sleep.
***
If I were a selfish uncle, I would have continued watching the movie until the end.
Instead, I turned the TV off, and just enjoyed the sweet snoring of my nephew and niece all through the night.
In the morning, I cooked corned beef and scrambled eggs for their breakfast./PN
