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BY EDISON MARTE SICAD
“LOVING you was a mistake.”
Can these words have a valid cause? When can a person be credible enough to make such a statement?
Are there people who are not worth loving? When can an act be considered selfish or selfless in the context of showing affection?
The month of February draws a lot of attention because of one special occasion that resonates to all of us. Generally, it is the romantic relationship that is being highlighted.
However, the relevance of Valentine’s Day depends on the appreciation a person gives to the idea or concept of Love.
Love may be defined in this manner: Love is the willingness to be responsible of others. Not to tolerate mediocrity but to challenge or inspire the loved one towards personal fulfillment and greatness.
To love is to accept and fulfill the varied demands needed for it to stay alive in the heart of the loved one. Somehow, there is also pain in loving.
Inasmuch that we get swept off in the romance, we must admit that loving is not just about feeling good. It is more about doing what is good.
And though we get to learn about love in the many stories we have read or heard, still, we mostly learn the reality of it in our surroundings. More importantly, we have learned about love at home. Unconsciously, we have learned to love based on how our parents have loved us, based on how our parents have loved each other.
Children, supposedly, learn the entire gamut of human affection and its complexity from the way a father loves his wife and vice versa. Love, in essence, is a conjugal responsibility.
All things considered, the firmness of the man is complemented with the gentleness of the woman. Children become the result and the reflection of love in action. In a religious perspective, love is a blood compact of Biblical, epic proportion.
In essence, the family is the best manifestation of a blood compact. By blood, family members live their lives as a continuation of the family lineage. And in each of the faces of the ascendants and descendants, siblings and relatives, of the entire clan, the collective image is remembered, lived by, and transferred.
Somehow, the qualities and attributes of the family members are borrowed from the past. Even a child who becomes individualistic, such “uniqueness” could be inherited from previous family members. Such a personality could be traced from a strong-willed uncle or a feisty grandma.
Isn’t it a wonder that the differences of each family member are just a part of the whole image representing the family name, clan, or identity? But despite such differences, we have all undergone the “sameness” of Love. We have all received and shown affection from our loved ones, relatives, and people in general. We have learned how it is to be loved, how it is to love.
Especially in the month of February, we get to symbolize love in the shape of a heart. The heart has also been a “consumer” logo. Together with flowers and chocolates, love is a profitable business.
But love has another symbol that makes such a concept or idea eternally relevant and spiritually collective: the image of a Cross.
Almost anticlimactic, the Cross made us think about love in relation to the concept of sin.
Is it possible to love for the wrong reasons? Who can tell us if we are loving the wrong person or loving the right person in a wrong way?
Is there a manual, a DIY guide, in showing true love and affection?
Is there such a thing as “traditional, old school” love?
The Cross would give us another word for Love: Sacrifice. To suffer for the sake of others because we believe in the inherent dignity of everyone, even of those who have wronged us. To love the person and hate the sin.
Have you tried praying for your enemy? If this is already difficult, how about loving your enemy?
Somehow, the message of love is being conveyed by the media as a trade, a barter of sort. We give because we are expecting something in return.
With such juxtapositions, this saying from a movie becomes questionable:
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return” ― Moulin Rouge/PN