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[av_heading heading=’MY LIFE AS ART ‘ tag=’h3′ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ size=” subheading_active=’subheading_below’ subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=” av-medium-font-size-title=” av-small-font-size-title=” av-mini-font-size-title=” av-medium-font-size=” av-small-font-size=” av-mini-font-size=” admin_preview_bg=”]
BY PETER SOLIS NERY
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XXXVII. Love happens
Love is as simple as the beating of our hearts. Surely, we are disappointed when things are not perfect, when things do not match. And it is hard to get things to match, even some of the time. But it has nothing to do with love. To love is to continue to try to get things to match, even if it means sacrifice on your part.
*
Why should I be jealous of Pinky?
She’s married, and in Japan.
Besides, what are we to each other?
Dulce, I love you!
Dulce was silent.
*
Did you hear me? I said, I love you!
Matt, no.
But I love you.
I don’t know how love happens, but I’m sure of it just now.
Dulce shook her head, You know my story.
And I love you despite of everything.
I see more of you than your past.
I see you, Dulce.
And I hear you, Matt.
*
I am willing to be a father to your son.
Stop! You know I am waiting for Emilio.
Matt snapped, But Emilio is not coming back for you!
Dulce suddenly broke into pieces like glass thrown against the cemetery wall, Don’t say that!
Don’t you say that!
She started to cry, a broken faucet bursting.
*
All this past year, I only hoped for him to come back and make things right.
I lived only for him!
So don’t you say he is not coming back.
Matt felt a tug of pity, his insides twisted like a soaked towel, his heart minced into very fine pieces.
I’m sorry. I’ve been selfish. I wasn’t thinking right.
*
I don’t know anymore, Matt, she said in tears. You are a nice person.
I am happy being with you.
But I came here with one, and only one purpose alone: To find Emilio again.
That single purpose has consumed all my life.
*
Matt was paralyzed by her devastation: Silent as the lips of one already dead.
Dulce continued, Fate has taken a new turn.
What used to be so sharp and clear to me has suddenly become so blurred.
I don’t know what to say.
Silence.
Between them, an ambivalent silence pregnant with meaning.
*
Is it the silence after the storm, or the brief calm before the big one?
They were both silent for a while.
They looked at the child who was preoccupied in its own world, giggling, talking to himself.
After a while, Matt stood up, and reached for the child from Dulce.
She gave it to him.
Let’s go, he said.
*
Matt, I am very fond of you.
But my feelings for you are not the same as my feelings for Emilio.
You said you love me. I think I love you, too.
Matt looked at her.
Love comes in many forms, she continued, I have no doubt that I love you, too.
But for now, my heart is reserved for Emilio.
I know these are not the words you want to hear.
But my feelings for Emilio cannot be discarded so easily.
He has been the center of my life, and I truly believe he will come back for me.
*
Matt left with the baby in his arms.
He didn’t mean it, but thoughts crossed his mind, Then, die for Emilio!
Die waiting for someone who will never come.
She ran after Matt and the baby.
Matt, wait!
She overtook him, and looked him in the eyes.
I heard you, and I am flattered by your love. Here’s the deal.
Matt looked at her contemptuously, You don’t have to make a deal with me, Dulce.
Shut up, and let me finish!
*
He looked at her, sternly, deeply into her eyes, without blinking, like God.
He saw a monster, a frightened little monster wanting so much to be loved.
If Emilio does not come for me and my baby by the end of the festival tonight, I will seriously consider your proposal.
I wish I could promise you more because you have been so good to me, but…
God melted, as if purified by fire, into something called tears.
Matt hugged her.
*
That’s fair enough, Dulce.
I accept your decision.
I cannot ask for more.
He kissed her on the forehead, on her temple…
He wanted to kiss her some more.
But she turned away. (To be continued)/PN
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