THERE are earthquake jitters or probably unfounded fears gripping everyone…what with the daily bombardment in our TV sets of cracked roads; crumbling, collapsed and leaning buildings, people running in panic. As if there is something you can really do when an earthquake of intense magnitude strikes. Is there?
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A comforting thought is when you have a solidly-built house, strong and stable, as befits rich people like us. So that you can hardly feel the earth shake even if an intensity 1-2-3 quake passes underneath the floor.
A discomforting and disturbing condition is when you are poor, like others, when you live, love and die in a makeshift hut made of light mixed wood and bamboo materials which trembles when the wind passes by.
With the heightened earthquake tension built up by media, scratching your eczema will cause everyone to evacuate the nipa hut. Run out to the streets and fall down on their knees crying to the Lord for salvation…only to realize that they are kneeling on dog shit.
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All of us had experienced quakes in our lifetime. Mostly minor tremors. What is an earthquake really like?
Believe me, there is really nothing to it. It is just a little tangling of feet like tango or things getting a bit shaky or being unable to walk straight for a few seconds. Nothing to fear, just like the usual hangover after a drinking bout.
People who drink hardly feel or fear earthquakes. While walking to my office, I felt I could hardly walk, a little dizzy and the stairs seem to be running away from me. I never thought of an earthquake. No. I only wondered what I drank last night that gave me such a hangover.
So, the invaluable missive is: If you want to conquer the fear of earthquakes…just drink about it. A drunk person fears no one…not even his mother-in-law. Fear of earthquakes is the least of your worry than your wife because you can hardly find your way home.
Don’t thank me enough for this sober advice. I’ll drink to that.
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The only reasonable thing to do, borne out of misguided experience, when there is an earthquake, is to stop whatever it is your doing unless making love or in the C.R., be still, quiet, do nothing…and pray.
Because there is absolutely nothing anyone can do while the earthquake is rumbling and the ground shaking. Now is the time to leave everything to God.
Hiding under the bed or some sturdy structure won’t matter if your time is up. The table will jump on you and the roof cave-in on your head.
You run outside? What for? Instead of being saved, you might be running to your death.
Get a glass and pour yourself two fingers of whiskey. You don’t need to shake it because the house is shaking. Down it….and find out if you are still alive. If you are, then….pray…that your wife doesn’t find out you were in a different house. (muzones_law_office@yahoo.com/PN)
