ONE NEVER forgets reformative childhood memories. For instance, I was often a “victim” of my late father who would spank me for whatever misdemeanor, such as coming home past 6 p.m.
But there were also moments when he would beg us children for understanding because it was for our own good. It was from him that we first heard, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.”
That quotation, attributed to 17th-century English poet Samuel Butler, is widely believed to have come down from a Bible verse, “Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell” (Proverbs 23:14).
I have no doubt it is a reiteration of an earlier verse (Proverbs 22:6): “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
The lines deliver the same message: It is the parents’ responsibility to guide their children in the transition from childhood to adulthood. As simply worded by our national hero, Dr. Jose Rizal, “The youth is the hope of the fatherland.”
For Filipino students, the journey from elementary school to college inspires a mixture of excitement and high anxiety. There is excitement about taking steps to realize emerging dreams, aspirations, and possibilities. Yet there is anxiety about making the right choices, seizing the right opportunities, and navigating the predictable crises of confidence that are an inevitable part of growing up. We parents have lived through such anxieties that we don’t want our children to experience. We want them to study the right courses, graduate, find employment, handle independence, and make responsible decisions.
Nevertheless, the transition to adulthood is never an automatic or uncomplicated process. Kids, no matter what their background or financial status, need basic connections to help them navigate to adulthood. They need the guidance, the time, and often the financial help of a stable, secure family. They need connections to wider communities that provide access to other mentoring adults and real-life options. And they need access to education and experiences that provide them with a foundation of learning, life skills and credentials that would give them the knowledge and confidence needed to succeed.
Unfortunately, many young people lack the resources and support they need. Most children of the poor enroll in the grade school but very few enter and finish college, thus missing the skills, experience, education, and confidence. A survey made by the insurance firm Philamlife in 2017 revealed that only 23 percent of Filipinos finish college.
Lacking education and skills, they could turn to crime for survival because of difficulty to advance beyond low-wage work. Their odds of being incarcerated will be greater. They will be more likely to continue living in high-poverty, under-resourced communities. Perhaps most discouraging, with diminished ability to build economic security, they will be considerably less likely to become stable providers for their own kids. They therefore face greater likelihood of failure in life.
Gone are the days when a high school diploma was sufficient to obtain a job that could support a family. Today, senior high school completion is the minimum entry credential for employment with very modest growth potential. Even tertiary education is no guarantee for landing white-collar jobs, what with thousands of college graduates ending up as housemaids or caregivers in foreign lands.
There is therefore a need set the right goals. We need to be good shepherds leading our descendants to greener pasture. Jesus showed the way (John 10:14) when he said, “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me.” (hvego31@gmail.com/PN)
