[av_one_full first min_height=” vertical_alignment=” space=” custom_margin=” margin=’0px’ padding=’0px’ border=” border_color=” radius=’0px’ background_color=” src=” background_position=’top left’ background_repeat=’no-repeat’ animation=”]
[av_heading heading=’MY LIFE AS ART ‘ tag=’h3′ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ size=” subheading_active=’subheading_below’ subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=”]
BY PETER SOLIS NERY
[/av_heading]
[av_textblock size=” font_color=” color=”]
My Haw-as social experiment
I’M NOT A big player in this year’s Haw-as sa Dumangas Festival. In fact, I’m not a player in the official Oktoberfest events. But I’m a social experimenter, and I wanted to stir the pot a little bit, and get a few bucks doing it, too.
No, I’m not interested in millions because I am an honest hardworking man, who, although not very savvy in business, believes I have the social skills and enough oomph and clout to get things done.
I wanted to create and establish a place for cool, beautiful people to be seen at; and although it wasn’t perfect, or as wonderful as I envisioned it to be, I was able to make my party a considerable success. Consider nine cases of beer sold on opening night last Wednesday. By no means the profit was great, but considering we only have a staff of four including myself, I think we did pretty amazing.
Consider also 15 drinking kiosks lined up in a designated alcoholic drinking place facing a band stage below my building. And I’m positioned in my own private place right at the back of such band stage. Plus the fact that not everybody knew I was serving ice cold beer this year. I mean, I never did business in any Haw-as Festival before.
Still, I attracted quite a crowd: young, funny, sexy, and with money to spare. I mean, my beers are priced five bucks more than the going price in the drinking kiosks. And why not? I offer security, a private bathroom, a more pasosyal ambiance, and naked boys serving.
Strike that one last out. The people are not ready for it. I mean, I had a contract with my servers that they have to serve beer topless. And they agreed! But naysayers shamed them to eat their balls. I didn’t want to relent, but I also didn’t want to be my own staff all alone on opening night. So I agreed for them to wear a singlet…on the condition that they’ll trust me, and take it off when I say so.
It turned out, we didn’t have to go naked. Most of my patrons seemed not to care. They came to drink. And many of them wanted to drink cheap to get drunk. They also came to drink and be by themselves. They came as gangs and high school class batches, and hardly bothered to check who were drinking on the next table. Sales, sales, sales. But not my idea of fun.
Then came the dressed up yuppies, who although came with their own groups, I have successfully hooked up. This was my biggest pride on opening night: that I have linked a group of boys with a group of girls, and actually made the boys order drinks for the girls! Of course, it took much of my lecturing and posing challenges, but it worked.
Watching a most beautiful boy (who was introduced to me earlier as if he were a gift to the high priest that is me) making progress and talking to a pretty gorgeous girl, I really felt like a great success in matchmaking on opening night. And if the two groups’ goodbye words to me are an indication, they will be back.
Tonight, Friday, is only the third night of the Haw-as festival in Dumangas, which runs until next Tuesday. More beers will be sold, I’m sure; considering it is also the weekend. But more than anything, I wish more success in my social experiment. Can I really gather the most attractive people in my town? Can I attract the out-of-towners to party with us? More importantly, can I get more people get laid?
Strike out that last one again. Haha! I mean, it would be fun if it happens, but I’m just a businessman and a social experimenter, not a pimp. But see, my power is in persuading people to try new things. For one, I actually managed to enforce a pay-as-you-order policy. I told them, pay your drinks up front so that instead of being confined to a numbered table, you can move around and meet other people. Of course, not many took the latter half of the deal, and instead got their table and socialized only with their group; but they all bit the pay cash up front thing.
So, the official drinking time in the street Oktoberfest ends at midnight. (Yes, we have a Cinderella syndrome in this port town that hopes to be a city soon.) But since I’m hosting in my own place, I can pretty much operate my experiment business until the wee hours of the morning. And guess what? People get it!
People who are too cheap to drink my five-pesos-above-running price beers realize they have nowhere else to go after midnight. Which gives me some idea to actually price my own beer an additional five pesos more after midnight. Haha. But, it’s the weekend and I want people to have fun so let’s keep the beers less than P50 a bottle.
Here’s another joke. Since the street beer kiosks are al fresco, guess what, I can command ten pesos more on beers if it rains. I mean, I got a roof deck patio and a second floor verandah if people want to go al fresco; and I got a whole second floor living room if it rains. Whichever way you look at it, I win in this Haw-as Oktoberfest.
If you didn’t get it the first time, out-of-towners who have no place to stay in Dumangas can just bed in at my PRIMA CiTy building. It is for this reason that instead of bar chairs, I have bamboo beds for ‘sitting’ furniture. So, in case of emergency, call me: 0915-093-7100.
Come visit Dumangas. Come visit Haw-as. And come enjoy my hospitality!/PN
[/av_textblock]
[/av_one_full]
