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BY PETER SOLIS NERY
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Desperately seeking, ‘ugly’ charms
Three things you don’t do to the Peter Solis Nery: you don’t threaten me, you don’t blackmail me, you don’t argue with me thinking you are far more superior. Because I crush guttersnipes like I eat bullets with mayonnaise for snacks.
Remember my second article for this column – “The Honesty Contract”: September 5, 2016? In there, I promised not to betray your trust by being totally honest. So, before I devour this desperate witch with a B, here is the transcript of our text exchanges.
She 1 (at 1:54 pm, Nov 1, 2016): Hi
Me 1: Hi, what’s up? Who are you?
She 2: hi i saw your number from a news paper and i wonder what is this all about? can i know your name?
Me 2: If you read the newspaper, you’ll know that I’m the writer Peter Solis Nery. What do you want?
She 3: where do you stay?
Me 3: What’s your name, how old are you, and where are you now?
She 4: ohh i thought it the wrong way then. my bad im sorry.
She 5: im @ iloilo. im 25 named charms. im so sorry. i thought it the wrong way. i thought that this page is free for those who wants to find someone or etc. My bad. but thank you for responding tho.
She 6: my bad it’s the first time i read this page. im sorry.
Me 4: That’s fine. I can refer you to my friends. Are you pretty? What’s your job?
She 7: everyone is pretty in there own ways. im a private english teacher… Btw thank u
Me 5: Well, are you movie star gorgeous? Btw, to say that everyone is pretty is wrong. It’s not true. Some people are just plain ugly.
Me 6: You have a FB account?
She 8: I am not.. the word ugly is a harsh one.. we got our own pretty side.. physically, emotionally and etc.. why u judge someone only from what u see?? gsss
Me 7: Excuse me, how dare you argue with me!!! When I say people are ugly, I base that on 47 years global experience. What’s your FB account?
She 9: if u are covered with that mind set im not in your side.. sorry for bothering you but still thank u for your wasted time..
Me 8: Yeah, I only deal with smart, sophisticated minds. Not goody-goody bullshit. I think people have to be honest and sincere.
She 10: Who cares with that global experience. icant believe people who are so judgemental still exsist.. Your kinds of thinking must be bured with ape mans back then before.. even god dont judge people and put out words like that… ur not a human if that’s the case. Wth
She 11: but not mean, who do u think you are? i cant believe what u are saying. can u at least be human.. god
She 12: do u know every single people u are saying ugly… wtf is up with u…
Me 9: Sweetheart, you are deluded. It’s different to be nice, and to be honest. We make judgments all the time. You are judging me now, thinking you are superior. Well, you are not.
Me 10: I thought you are an English tutor. What in SOME do you not understand? Some people are just plain ugly. That’s a fact!
She 13: Do this news paper knows u talk like that? i think no.. and ill make sure that they will. wth
She 14: think what ever u want.. I wont argue with u anymore. thank u.
Me 11: Go ahead. And I’ll make sure I’ll tell the world how stupid you are. I have our complete convo saved.
She 15: same as i..
She 16: GO AHEAD..and dont u dare call me stupid. u dont know me… i cant believe this. thank u.
Me 12: Here’s the newspaper’s email: panaynewseditorial@yahoo.com. Make sure you cc: my email so I can deal with your letter to the editor in my next column. My email is frapippo@aol.com.
She 17: I rather show them our convo and do it personally..thank u.
She 18: Ill do it personally..dont worry.. thank u and may god bless u..
Me 13: Go ahead. You don’t know who you are dealing with. Don’t you threaten me. I won’t be blackmailed by someone like you. Go research Peter Solis Nery before you will be exposed. Can you Google?
She 19: Who do you think u are? ur the one u is threatening me. look into your msg.. Do u think your that big?
Me 14: Reread everything again, and try to understand English. Also, make sure your grammar is correct so nobody will laugh when you show our convo. Happy holidays.
She 20: You’re the one that threatens and blockmailing me..your not that big.. and don’t worry i swear to god that ill show the world how u thnk, act and threat people..
She 21: same to u..i just posted it.. Good luck with your dear prince charming thing. Wth
Priceless text messaging, right? Now, how do we bury this desperate witch? Shall we start with grammar check; or do we all agree that she’s a disgrace to the teaching of English, privately or otherwise? I kept her texting peculiarities including her inconsistent capitalization and punctuation, atrocious misspelling and word confusions, and total omission of apostrophes in contracted words, to show how dangerous and incompetent this emotional hag is as an English teacher.
I think I’ll devote two issues in the mastication of this poor, unfortunate soul.
She 19: Who do you think u are? ur the one u is threatening me. look into your msg.. Do u think your that big?
I do not think I am big at all. I just am. I mean, there is a difference between thinking and being. I do not think just to say “therefore I am.” I am Peter Solis Nery, and I am big… in all the sense you can make of the word. Sometimes, you just have to suck it to believe it. I am that big!
And because I am big, I don’t threaten people. I just do it. I may warn you before I hit you, but I won’t threaten you. Before I punch people, I usually tell them, “Please stop playing with me because I can really hurt you.” If they don’t stop, I punch them until they spit out their broken teeth.
This b/witch thought she could take me. (She 21: same to u.. I JUST POSTED IT*.. Good luck with your dear prince charming thing. Wth – *emphasis mine.) Well, I will not be one-upped by a lowlife, or anyone for that matter. This is an ugly battle for a legend of my stature. But I’m a teacher, and I like giving wannabies a lesson. See how finely I chew this desperately looking clueless in my Monday’s column. I promise it will be a lot of fun. I might even expose her cell phone number. Unless, of course, she apologizes before then. Yes, this is really who I think I am! Hear me roar!/PN
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