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BY PETER SOLIS NERY
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Girl, 25, looking to get some
“JUST as there are ugly people, there surely are stupid people.”
That’s a direct quote. By me. And I make such statement as a philosopher. If you want to argue that, bring it on. Because you are going to get it, and I’m going to eat you alive.
Last Friday, dear readers, I introduced you to one unfortunate soul who dared argue the first half of my assertion. The half-brained idiot also kept telling me not to call her stupid because I’m supposed not to know her, but you know I’m in the habit of calling a spade stupid, if it behaves stupidly.
Anyway, I’m not cruel. I did try to hide her identity by keeping her cellphone number secret hoping that she’ll give the apology I demand. Well, I served her a final notice on Friday night, 8:18 p.m.: “This is your final notice. If I don’t receive your apology by midnight, I’ll publish your number in my next column discussing your stupid behavior.”
Earlier last Friday, around 11:04 a.m., after serving her the link of my column article “Desperately Seeking, ‘Ugly’ Charms”, she texted me thrice (actually, five times, but only these three are relevant): “im reading it atm,” “why would i apologize?” and “i dont owe u anything. expose my number and ill post ths msg to. ur threatening me and that is not good.”
See how stupid her moves are? Well, I don’t threaten; I do the things I say I’m going to do. Of course, she doesn’t owe me anything. She’s just an idiot who wants to get it, and take it, from a big man like me.
“Expose my number and I’ll post this message, too.” Bleh! She thinks I’ll be scared of her 11 friends and 2 followers on Facebook?
Again, I’m not cruel. But let’s go back. This 25-year old Desperately Seeking woman picks up the newspaper for the first time in her life to look for a boyfriend or a text/sexmate. She wants it bad that she didn’t even care to read my whole article to know me. She just zeroes in on my mobile number, and texted me hoping to get some. (The full transcript of our complete text exchange was published in my last Friday’s column.)
She 2: hi i saw your number from a news paper and i wonder what is this all about? can i know your name? She 5: im @ iloilo. im 25 named charms. im so sorry. i thought it the wrong way. i thought that this page is free for those who wants to find someone or etc. My bad. but thank you for responding tho. She 6: my bad it’s the first time i read this page. im sorry.
So, a columnist so eager to please the public that I am, I asked her if she was pretty. It’s not my criteria for a girlfriend or a f*ckee, but my male friends are choosy. They want Victoria Secret models. – Me 4: That’s fine. I can refer you to my friends. Are you pretty? What’s your job? Me 5: Well, are you movie star gorgeous? Btw, to say that everyone is pretty is wrong. It’s not true. Some people are just plain ugly.
She turned defensive. – She 8: I am not.. the word ugly is a harsh one.. we got our own pretty side.. physically, emotionally and etc.. why u judge someone only from what u see?? gsss She 9: if u are covered with that mind set im not in your side.. sorry for bothering you but still thank u for your wasted time..
Now, I do not believe in wasted time, or wasted opportunities. So I wanted to turn the failed matchmaking into a lesson in survival and real life. – Me 5: … Btw, to say that everyone is pretty is wrong. It’s not true. Some people are just plain ugly.
But she tries to correct me with a goody-goody notion that everyone is pretty. So, I screamed a bit for her to hear me – Me 7: Excuse me, how dare you argue with me!!! When I say people are ugly, I base that on 47 years global experience. Me 8: Yeah, I only deal with smart, sophisticated minds. Not goody-goody bullshit. I think people have to be honest and sincere.
I mean, Hello? I know we have been taught that all men and women were created equal, but that is not true. Some men are bigger dicks than other jerks. And some women are just not Victoria Secret types. As to “all creatures are beautiful,” well, that may be true, but some creatures are just plain stupid, too.
I did try to warn this “beautiful creature” with the brain of a mosquito that I base all my assertions from a vast and varied experience. But she brushes me off. – She 10: Who cares with that global experience. i cant believe people who are so judgemental still exsist.. Your kinds of thinking must be bured with ape mans back then before.. even god dont judge people and put out words like that… ur not a human if that’s the case. Wth She 11: but not mean, who do u think you are? i cant believe what u are saying. can u at least be human.. god
Who do I think I am? This poor speller of a supposedly private English teacher got to know. I mean, unlike her, who cowardly hides behind her cell number *95*-576-1663, I introduced myself right on my second text message. – Me 2: If you read the newspaper, you’ll know that I’m the writer Peter Solis Nery. What do you want?
Then, realizing she’s not getting any sex or text love from me, she turns rabid and threatening. – She 13: Do this news paper knows u talk like that? i think no.. and ill make sure that they will. Wth
Now, you don’t threaten Peter Solis Nery, I can tell you that. – Me 12: Here’s the newspaper’s email: panaynewseditorial@yahoo.com. Make sure you cc: my email so I can deal with your letter to the editor in my next column. My email is frapippo@aol.com.
And then, Stupid Charms did a stupid dick move. – She 21: same to u.. i just posted it.. Good luck with your dear prince charming thing. Wth
“I just posted it.” My take on that: she took screenshots of our conversations and posted it on Facebook, cropped and edited as she liked it, possibly making me look like a monster. I don’t think she has my kind of all-out-honesty and high morals to post everything for transparency.
Well, *95*-576-1663, think again before you post. This is a social media responsibility reminder. Imagine the consequences of your action. Imagine being helped by Peter Solis Nery to finally get countless textmates and possible boyfriends, sexmates, and flings. You’ll finally get laid, woman desperately seeking! You are gonna get it, thanks to me. Enjoy the life of being made famous by one Peter Solis Nery, the one you called “not big enough.”
Now, feel my size and power! Moan, groan, and drown in ecstasy./PN
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