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BY PETER SOLIS NERY
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Monday, April 17, 2017
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ON MARCH 21, 2017, Choose Philippines, www.choosephilippines.com, “a movement and website promoting everything great about our country, from its amazing people to stunning destinations” came up with a list of “8 Tourist Friendly Cities In The Philippines You Should Visit.”
(Key in at least the four words “eight tourist friendly cities,” if you want Google to direct you to the article.)
It started with this paragraph: “Generally speaking, the world holds the Philippines in high regard; from our wonderful destinations to our warmth and hospitality, the Philippines has been included in more and more prestigious lists, describing the best parts of the country. Though the Philippines has its share of woes, it can’t be ignored how delightfully friendly our people are, whether facing adversity or not. Throughout history, many cities and locales have been referred to as the friendliest in the country. So, which ones are they? Well, in no particular order, they are…”
The article went on to name and describe the eight cities: Davao, Makati, Puerto Princesa, Dumaguete, Cebu, Baguio, Subic Bay, and Iloilo.
***
As an Ilonggo, I am very proud that my little city has made it to the list of eight.
As Peter Solis Nery, I am even prouder, ever mighty proud, of what they have to say about my city.
Their words: “Iloilo — Known as the City of Love, Iloilo takes its moniker quite seriously. Many Filipinos actually consider Ilonggos — natives of Iloilo — as the sweetest among Filipinos. From their terms of endearment for each other to their culture of warmth, it’s easy to see why many foreigners and even locals flock yearly to Iloilo. It is a highly-urbanized and artistic city, producing celebrities like Palanca Awards Hall of Fame awardee Peter Solis Nery as well as Hiligaynon poet and National Cultural Awardee for Literature Magdalena Jalandoni.” (Emphasis mine)
I don’t know who wrote this article, but I pray to God that this writer is given more work, more wealth, more good health, and more success for his/her goodness and kindness to me.
***
I mean, whoever you are, who wrote this, I am truly honored to be mentioned in the same sentence as Magdalena Jalandoni. And to be singled out as “a celebrity produced by this highly-urbanized and artistic city,” Iloilo.
I mean, in a country with so many so-called, and self-proclaimed, celebrities, it is so nice to be singled out as “the” celebrity from Iloilo City. Because, foremost, it means that the writer of the article is well-informed, well-educated, and highly literate. If the writer is literate, it makes the list, and the listing of my name, more believable and important.
Look, the writer knows who I am. I mean, as a Palanca Awards Hall of Fame awardee. And not just a Palanca Hall of Famer, but “the” Palanca Hall of Famer worth naming.
At the very least, the writer recognizes the value of the Palanca Awards, which is, of course, dubbed as the Pulitzer Prize of the Philippines.
***
Incidentally, do you know that there are, at least, two other Hall of Fame awardees living in Iloilo? And several Palanca winners, too! They may not be as celebrated and popular as “the” Peter Solis Nery, but they are there. So yeah, we are a literary city.
I like the sound of it — Peter Solis Nery, Magdalena Jalandoni, Iloilo City, literary city.
Beautiful image, too, for the new millennium — Peter Solis Nery, Iloilo, literary!
I can be wrong, or biased; but in my experience, literary and artsy cities are rather friendly cities. For why would artists and writers like to live and be in hostile, or boring, cities? Why would they even want to write about these hostile and boring cities? Hmmm…
***
I really don’t know who Magdalena is/was, but it looks like I’m in good company here. She owns that bridge, and that street, in the city proper, right? Haha.
I mean, other than Magdalena, only President Duterte (mentioned in the Davao highlight) is the other person namedropped in Choose Philippines’ entire article.
I mean, if you are promoting the Philippines, and you only mention celebrities like Duterte, Magdalena, and Peter Solis Nery, that’s a truly amazing thing. For Duterte, Magda, and Peter Solis Nery!
By the way, who’s Magda again? Haha.
***
Flashback: Of course, I felt offended for my city and my province when President Duterte made a sweeping accusation, in August last year, that Iloilo is a most “shabulized” city in the country.
Thank God, therefore, that when Choose Philippines described Iloilo in their last month’s article, they chose to name me instead of other Ilonggo celebrities, or politicos. At least, with me, there never is, there never was, and there never will be, any shabu connection.
I mean, shabu is, what, methamphetamine? You can bet your sweet ass I don’t, and won’t, touch the thing with a 10-foot pole. I don’t do drugs. I just don’t.
The only drugs you can make me take are either Tylenol or Advil. And only after my three-day window period for the pain or fever to naturally go away.
Seriously, other than movies, and buying books at Amazon.com, I don’t have much of an addiction. Not even porn. Sure, I mean, people think that I’m a sex addict, because I am an advocate for routine and regular HIV testing; but that’s their illusion. Their very mistaken perception of my healthy sex life.
***
Look, I’m very friendly. And when I’m in Iloilo, I party like a party animal. I can also channel the wild animal vibe in bars. Especially after I had a drink, or two.
I’m not a heavy drinker. Two Blow Job shooters, or three Sex on the Beach, and I’m ready to ramble. Yeah, I can ramble and babble; and I have a very sexy drunken smile. Can you blame me?
But because there are still the conservative and envious lot, they always think my friendliness is flirting. It’s just so wrong. But it’s some kind of nice, too. I admit, I like flirting.
So, yes, I must also confess that other than just being Iloilo’s foremost sane, non-shabulized, and literary celebrity, I’m big on friendliness.
And sometimes, my friendliness can be misconstrued as flirting, which is not really a bad thing.
***
Fact: On the last night of the Dinagyang frenzy in January, I was in Smallville. And I played host to some Americans from Los Angeles.
Well, they happened to be gay. And I amazed them with my literary wit; and my blow jobs, and sex on the beach, the drinks.
I mean, seriously? Most people drank cheap beer during Dinagyang!
I asked the waiter to give me a Blow Job and Sex on the Beach instead. He said, “What?”
The Americans died laughing. Long story short, the visitors voted me most friendly and entertaining, which of course, ended up nice and sweet.
The locals, well, they thought, I was just mostly flirty; and had all the fun they didn’t get that night. Cool! How nice and sweet is that?
I mean, I’m in. I’m really in! (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
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