My life on socmed

I FEEL that I lived more than half of my life since the pandemic online. In no other time of my life did I spend as much time online as in 2020. I feel that things will be better in 2021. Perhaps, I will have a stronger online presence with a proper YouTube channel, podcasts, and tech crews taking care of everything; but I definitely won’t be spending most of my life being online.

*

What exactly am I saying? In 2020, I was online to minister to people in an amateurish kind of way. I tried various methods and platforms. I even activated my Twitter and Wattpad accounts thinking I could reach more people that way.

And it was important for me to reach a bigger number of people because many people were lost, clueless, and panicking during the pandemic. I wanted to present myself as the voice of reason, the calm and reflection, the considered thought. But more and more, I found myself as the comic relief. The unfiltered voice of the common person! Where people wanted to say “f*ckshit” and could not, I said it out loud for them. And they felt validated in their unexpressed feelings so they react to my posts in terms of “likes” and other emojis.

*

It’s mostly a hit or miss though. I’m happy with the hits, a little disappointed with the misses. The judgment, however, is not about me; but about my readers, and followers. I’m pretty confident and certain of my wit and dry humor. My readers are a little flimsy. Not everybody has my sophistication and intelligence, so let’s just leave it at that.

*

I like that Facebook has this Memories feature that throws back right at me things that I have posted through the years. Sometimes, they’re just solid gold nuggets that my new readers and social media followers only begin to discover. This poem from two years ago, for example:

*

PETER SOLIS NERY AND THE BOY

…and in that one moment we were/ there together with the sunset/ like we understood that nothing/ can last forever. It was beautiful/ and real — what the sunset saw/ before it disappeared.

*

Last week, I posted this: “Sabi nang ayoko na ng relationship! Puedeng i-convert na lang sa cash ‘yan? Hindi na talaga ako aayaw sa cash this 2021. Bring it!”

But this idea was triggered by these three posts from 2019:

1.) “Sometimes, I just take random pictures, and think of you.” 2.) “I want to be in a relationship where I always smile, and where I can always make him smile. I don’t mind being corny.” 3.) I’m not a needy person. I just want someone to watch out for me because he loves me. That’s not a crime!”

*

And then, I think that I commit intellectual suicide by being flippant like in this post: “Gago! I close my eyes when I kiss you hindi para namnamin ang lasa ng dila at halik mo, kundi dahil hindi ka ganoon ka guapo. Feelingero!”

But, surprise, surprise, people love it! In just four hours, it got 781 likes and reactions, 102 comments, and 26 shares.

*

BECAUSE SOMEONE SAID I’M JUST WASTING MY TIME

Gusto kong suportahan at tangkilikin ang pagkamalikhain. Ngunit nais ko ring maibsan ang kayabangan at katigasan ng mga batang manunulat. Iyon marahil ang aking kahalagahan: dahil ako’y pinagtibay na ng maraming karanasan. Hanga rin ako sa katigasan at panindigan, basta ba ang mga ito’y pinili’t pinag-isipan. Meron kasing matalinong pagmamatigas, at meron ding pagmamatigas ng bobo. Ito ang ibig kong sabihin sa “Wala akong paggalang sa mga batang manunulat na hindi nagbabasa, at hindi nagtiyaga sa kahit ilang klasikong panitikan.” Hindi ko maatim na hayaang maging mayabang at bobo ang mga batang manunulat. Kailangang paalalahanan ko sila, kahit pa hindi sila makikinig.

*

I want to promote and support creativity. But I also want to temper young writers’ arrogance and stubbornness. I think that’s where I’m most useful: because I am aged with much experience. I like stubbornness, but only when all things have been well considered. There’s a smart stubbornness; and there’s ignorant and stupid stubbornness. This is what I mean when I say that I have no respect for young writers who do not read, and who have not even plowed through some of the classics. I cannot in good conscience just let young writers be arrogant and illiterate. I have to tell them even if they choose to ignore me.

*

So, yeah. I give a sense of life’s unpredictability and silliness for other people to experience online. I try so hard to inject some sense every now and then. Because I cannot just be flippant all the time. You have to understand this: I am willing to be flippant to get your attention. But once I have your full attention, I have to push my own agenda. I am not stupid, and I’m definitely not just a clown. I’m really smart; and I’m often smarter than many of my readers, followers, and supporters. For now, we can leave it at that.

*

The following three posts really bombed as far as I’m concerned. But again, who’s to say that it was my humor that failed? Sometimes, people just can’t react well because they’re too ignorant, too scared, too politically correct, or too numb.

1.) Hindi ako sure kung I’ll be happy for the early detection of corona virus-UK strain in the Philippines. Dapat ba itong ipagdiwang?

2.) ‘Yong case ng flight stewardess and a DOZEN men in just TWO rooms, ano ang nangyari doon… SA HOTEL? Bakit kami, hindi pinayagan na mag-four persons in a room?

3.) 1:12 na ratio ng stewardess sa mga lalaki, dalawang kwarto. Unsafe ‘yon! Dapat managot ang hotel. COVID-19 quarantine protocols po!

*

I don’t think I’m insensitive. But I can be brazen. That’s why it’s futile to pick a fight with me at any time. I also don’t make threats. I just ruthlessly tear stupid people apart./PN