THE NEW fire code of the Philippines has required my three-story building, Casa Dom Pedro, a fire escape.
They weren’t happy with New York-style retractable escape ladders.
So that’s like another P200,000 project (originally estimated at P250,000).
I told my architect, Please do something with 200K, it’s just a fire escape.
***
To be honest, it is just a fire escape.
It probably won’t be used ever again after the fire department inspection.
Firstly, with the kinds of materials used for the building construction, I hardly think Casa Dom Pedro can be set on fire.
(Then, again, two major fires happened in my town since 1989; and both of them could have been easily contained if the fire trucks were functional.)
But secondly, by the height of my building, any average-thinking person would save herself by jumping from the second floor instead of cramming through the fire escape!
It’s a fishpond at the back. Jump there, idiot!
***
So anyway, P200,000 later, the Casa could be having its own electric power, water supply, occupancy permit, and everything to start operating.
Do I look forward to living at the Casa?
Of course. I would have never built it if I weren’t.
It would be a beautiful place to retire.
(In addition to my La Choza treehouse in the farm.)
***
I like the sense of the horizon at the Casa rooftop.
I always loved sunrises, and sunsets there.
I do not know if I will have takers for a monthly rental of P8,000 at the Casa.
But I do not care.
I’m rather picky with prospective renters.
Singles or couples only.
No children.
Preferably no pets.
Pets are negotiable, children are not.
***
I have an ideal community of renters in mind.
But I know that it may not happen.
Now that I am 54, I may finally succumb to economic pressure.
After all, the Casa had been a white elephant for the length of the pandemic.
Never mind that it was just my whimsical decision that made it non-profitable for the last three years.
***
Still, I may exert and impose my idea (and ideals) for a while.
I’m not that poor.
I can afford to still bleed some more.
It’s not like I have a loan to pay.
It’s not like the Casa was built with loan money.
***
One can dream with the Casa.
A resto bar in the penthouse.
A roof garden.
Well curated rooms.
Artist residency.
Weekend singles mingles at the rooftop.
Orgies, if it comes to that.
***
I’ve always joked that the Casa can very well be a brothel. Casahan.
House three female whores on the ground floor.
House three male whores on the second floor.
And I live, like a mama-san, on the third floor penthouse.
***
If the apartelle idea doesn’t work out, this could be a natural progression.
I mean, if I succumb to economic pressure.
And now that sex work is being normalized, why not a whorehouse? Haha.
***
I love the idea of bordellos.
I always thought of them as romantic.
I do not know if I have the heart to run one, but hey, I love the idea.
When the country has gone to the dogs, and the people are female dogs, how bad is a whorehouse?
***
I mean, how is a whorehouse different from a massage parlor that offers happy endings?
Lingam massage resembles masturbation.
I do not know where you go to get it, but where I go, they focus on arousing my decidedly male genitalia, they stroke it and caress it until I ejaculate.
Sometimes, I have a feeling that the therapists will not stop until I cum.
***
So, anyway, I do not suggest that Casa Dom Pedro is going to be a whorehouse.
But, let’s just say that it did cross my mind./PN
