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BY GORDON GUILLERGAN
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Long distance right now
“IF EVER there is tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart I’ll always be with you.” – Christopher Robins
That has been my ultimate quote in life. I am big Winnie the Pooh fan. On a more “marital note” – since this column is devoted to such – it is quite an ordeal for spouses to endure a long distance relationship. In this time of husbands and wives working abroad, the need to survive a long distance relationship is important.
Our Family Code under Article 69 provides that the husband and wife shall fix the family domicile. The court may exempt one spouse from living with the other if the latter should live abroad or there are other valid and compelling reasons for the exemption. However, such exemption shall not apply if the same is not compatible with the solidarity of the family.
Many Filipino families today are either left with only their father or mother (a spouse is off to earn a living for the family). Often, children from this set up tend to disregard the emotional difficulty their parents go through.
It takes quite a lot of trust and loyalty for any long distance relationship to work and sometimes this may either strengthen the marital bond or weaken it. How should one deal with a long distance relationship?
Avoid excessive communication. It is good to communicate with your spouse but excessive communication could lead to exhaustion or argument which you could both have difficulty working out on, by reason of the distance.
Remember, it is not the quantity of communication but the quality that is important. A meaty conversation, even if seldom made, is quite better that regular meaningless talks.
See it as an opportunity. Always see every situation as an opportunity to learn and grow as individuals. Never let the situation take the best of you.
In marriage it is necessary to live parallel lives more than having an intertwined one. Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience both of you will be bound together even stronger.
Have a goal in mind. Even if you both have this distance and time apart, always make sure that you both are focused on the same goal.
Set up a unified goal and focus on that. Even if the distance could challenge the goal, as long as the distance shall remain only a factor in achieving that goal, the time apart shall not matter.
What is important in a long distance relationship is the verbal assurance of love and affection. But there is no better way to protect marriage in this situation but a pocket full of prayers.
What is important is you both remain steadfast in your faith and love for God and for each other and your family. Trust me, distance will not matter./PN
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