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BY GORDON GUILLERAN
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Subtle cheating
“JUST because it doesn’t hurt it means it did not cut.”
Emotional cheating. Is there such a thing? Yes there is, according to a recent study.
Although our laws do not provide for this as ground for annulment or legal separation of a marriage – due to the absence of an overt act – still, before you even think of other people or invest emotionally in other people, remember this: you might be emotionally cheating on your spouse.
In an article in Bustle, Lara Rutherford-Morrison noted nine indications you are emotionally cheating on your spouse. Time to spot our inner cheating self and realize if we are doing at least one out of these nine red flags, and what consequences they may bring:
1. You feel the need to hide what’s going on from your partner.
2. You dress up for your crush.
3. You have consistent daydreams and/or sexual fantasies about this person.
4. You communicate with your crush more than with your best friends.
5. You downplay how much time you spend with this person, or how much you like them.
6. You complain about your significant other to your crush.
7. You keep your partner and your “friend” in separate spheres.
8. You flirt.
9. Your relationship with your “friend” feels more intense than the one you share with your partner.
Our laws do not have any provision regarding these as grounds for annulment or legal separation. But these are overt actions grounded by our Family Code under Articles 35, 45 and 55 that either nullifies or sever marital ties.
Most of us believe that in the absence of any physical act, the thoughts we entertain contrary to expectations within the marriage shall remain harmless. But always remember: What our minds conceive, our bodies believe. Therefore, why even consider thoughts that would in a way develop you to question the level of satisfaction or happiness you have within your marriage?
Most men would have these thoughts. But these remain unacted. These don’t mean they love their spouses any lesser. They simply – how do I put this – window shop in their minds.
But this is not strictly something only men do. Women gather and talk about how hot Piolo Pascual is, or how their sons’ taekwondo teachers are so cute.
Both men and women are guilty of having eye candies. But at the end of the day, what’s in your heart is that matters most.
My mom told me temptation is not something you fight; it is something you walk away from. Walk away. Stay away. It is subtle cheating./PN
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