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BY GORDON GUILLERGAN
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Thursday, May 4, 2017
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I help with everything. My wife and I are a team. I pack my son’s lunches and she takes him to baseball practice when I gotta go train. It’s hand-in-hand. There are no labels on our chores. – Bill Goldberg
WHOEVER admits to liking household chores should be respected. I for one dislike certain household chores – especially washing the dishes. But we all have to, at some point, do household chores.
One of the common marital problems noted by Carol Sorgen in WebMD, especially for newly married couples, is the division of household labor.
Most partners work outside the home and often at more than one job. So it’s important to fairly divide the labor at home, says Paulette Kouffman-Sherman, author of Dating From the Inside Out.
Common in the Philippine setting is the wife doing household chores even if they are working moms. However, Filipino culture has evolved. We now have “housebands” embracing the idea of men being left at home to do the job.
Here are some strategies that can perhaps help newlyweds overcome this struggle. It is important for newlyweds to be organized and clear about respective jobs in the home, Kouffman-Sherman says. “Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what.” Be fair so no resentment builds.
In addition, she said there’s a need for both spouses to be open to other solutions. If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaner. You can be creative and take preferences into account – as long as it feels fair to both of you.
In the Philippine setting, not everyone can afford to get help. Or good help is quite difficult to find these days, that is why we opt to do house chores on our own.
Remember that it is a marital right and the duty of both spouses to manage the household, under Article 71 of the Family Code.
The expenses for such management shall be paid jointly by both spouses and both are responsible for the support of the family. The expenses for such support and other conjugal obligations shall be paid from the community property and, in the absence thereof, from the income or fruits of their separate properties. In case of insufficiency or absence of said income or fruits, such obligations shall be satisfied from the separate properties. (Art. 70, Family Code)
My take on this is that, household chores may not seem a burden if you both do it. It can actually be a good bonding session for both spouses and can be a form of a date night. There is a saying that something bad would seem so if you look at the good side to it. Meaning, if you can’t change the situation, change your perception of the situation and everything will be just okay./PN
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