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BY GORDON Q. GUILLERGAN
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Sunday, March 5, 2017
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“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.” – Henny Youngman
“I’M SORRY” is perhaps the most difficult word to say in this life, together with “Thank You” and “Please.”
Some would consider saying sorry as a sign of weakness; it is in fact a sign of strength. Not everyone is strong enough to admit their lapses or accept their mistakes.
Others would choose not say sorry but would act in a way that shows remorse or would try to live in atonement.
In marriage, the common reason for being sorry is the infidelity of the other spouse. But what happens if after learning that your husband or wife is unfaithful, you still live with him or her?
Article 55 of the Family Code provides the grounds for Legal Separation. Infidelity and the cohabitation of the husband and wife even after his or her knowledge of the infidelity may be construed as condonation, which is a defense in actions for legal separation.
Living with your spouse is an implied act of forgiveness to his acts of infidelity. Logically, no spouse shall share the household with someone whom he or she cannot see eye to eye. But the fact the one is able to look beyond the unfaithfulness and live with his or her spouse means he or she has forgiven the spouse.
In the Supreme Court-decided case of Benjamin Bugayong vs Leonila Ginez G.R. No. L-10033, condonation is the forgiveness of a marital offense constituting a ground for divorce and bars the right to a divorce. But it is on the condition, implied by the law when not expressed, that the wrongdoer shall not again commit the offense; also, that one shall thereafter treat the other spouse with conjugal kindness. A breach of the condition will revive the original offense as ground for divorce. Condonation may be express or implied.
Condonation, or condonance, may be made when an accuser has forgiven or condoned the act about which they are complaining. In some legal jurisdictions, and for certain behaviors, it may prevent the accuser from prevailing.
In addition to condonation, there’s consent; connivance in the commission of the offense or act constituting the ground for legal separation; mutual guilt of both parties have given ground for legal separation; and collusion or the agreement between parties – deceiving, misleading or defrauding to obtain to obtain decree of legal separation; or prescription which is five years from the occurrence of the cause for legal separation.
The language of love between spouses in marriage may vary, hence, there are many ways of expressing forgiveness or saying sorry, so, there no rule of thumb as to how one should seek forgiveness.
Sometimes, it is best that you understand the love language of your spouse for you to fully know whether your spouse, despite of his or her guilt and the lack of actually saying sorry, is acting in a way that speaks of an apology.
Personally, I believe that the best apology is a changed attitude because sometimes saying sorry may be abused or used as an excuse to hurt./PN
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