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[av_heading heading=’RAMBLINGS OF THE UNMARRIED | ‘Practice lang’’ tag=’h3′ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ size=” subheading_active=’subheading_below’ subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=”]
BY GORDON Q. GUILLERGAN
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Saturday, May 27, 2017
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“Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice reduces the imperfection.” ― Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity
MOST of us believe in trial and error. It allows us to test the waters, seeing whether we can thrive or drown, make it or not.
This is the common idea behind common-law marriages where a man and a woman merely agree to cohabit without undergoing any marriage ceremony.
According to “Concerns and Emerging Trends On Laws Relating to Family and Children” by Flerida Ruth P. Romero, this practice is very common among the less privileged in our society or among formerly married couples living separately from each other, where either or both decide to live in with somebody other than their estranged partners.
This informal arrangement is not considered valid under our jurisdiction where one of the essential requisites of a valid marriage is “consent freely given in the presence of the solemnizing officer” and the formal requisite of “a marriage ceremony which takes place with the appearance of the contracting parties before a government functionary or a duly authorized religious person.” However, if a man and a woman who have been living together for at least five years without benefit of marriage decide to get married and there is no legal impediment at said time to marry each other, they are exempted from procuring a license.
Such “legalized concubinage” is authorized under the Family Code to encourage those who have merely agreed informally to live together as husband and wife to formally contract a valid marriage recognized under our laws, thereby giving legitimacy to children born thereafter.
Many would ghastly react about “live in” like it is some sort of a taboo in this day and age. Many assume that this kind of relationship lacks the blessing it deserves or that the relationship is condemnation-worthy. But it pays to flip the coin and see the other side. Perhaps they have their reasons and we are just not open-minded enough to see how valuable their reasons are.
Too often everyone is too quick to judge other people that we tend to forget how dirty our side of the fence is. Maybe what we should focus more on is how we could improve our marriage than focus on how to give a dime of our mind on the marriage of others. Like the common saying, we are good lawyers of our mistakes and the good judge of others.
Sometimes it does cross my mind. Testing the waters before actually doing the real thing. But for some reason my rational self would remind me of the basic foundation of every relationship. Patience, compromise and trust. Trust not limited only on the idea that there is the absence of lies; trust in a sense that you trust that the relationship or marriage will work out despite its rough edges. Trusting that at the end of all the arguments, you realize that you love each other so much not to fight for each other. Trusting that the marriage will plain and simply work out./PN
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